Saturday, November 7, 2015
Most days I don’t feel their absence.
Maybe I don’t care, maybe I don’t have enough reason to care, maybe I’m a bad person, maybe they don’t mean enough to me, I don’t know.
Most people in my life will come and go,
As the others before them have come and gone.
But it’s not sad,
Fucked up part of it all is that I don’t really mind not having “family” because I don’t really think about it. I have good friends. But even friends who feel like family will never be family. They will have their family trips, their holidays, their squabbles, their history –shit I will never know about or need to know about. Even as much as they want to be my family, even as much as I have wanted them to be my family, they. will. never. be. And I am finally mature enough to admit that. And to see that that is okay. Okay, and empowering. To know that I can go on without anyone. That I can fucking survive without anyone.
I am accustom to loss
It has made me colder
But that’s not bad,