Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Now

Here in this moment with you 
Sometimes when I'm here with you I like to pretend this will last forever 
I close my eyes to feel each moment pass
I want to slow it down
I want to live in this moment 
With you
I know a part of me will stay behind when I leave
I know it because I can feel the part of you in me 


I can look horizon to horizon to find someone else but why would I do that when I have you, here. 
I don't want someone else. I want you. 
I chose you. 

It all doesn't matter in the end... The looks, the question of whether or not either of us could 'do better'. All that matters is that I have you to love me and call me beautiful when I grow fat or gray. All that matters is that if I have to leave this earth before my time I have you to hold my hand, to kiss me one final time, and to whisper something tragic before saying goodbye. Life is too short to search when you have someone magnificent right in front of you. Life is too short to search when someone who loves you unconditionally and at your worst... Someone who fights for your love everyday. 
You fought for me 

each day your love comes to wash away all the hate and mistakes that my shore harbors 
And although everyday my ugly returns your love is there, day by day, to wash it all away 
Every day you work away my imperfections 
Every single day your love cleanses my soul and reveals to me beauty 

Why search for better when you have the best?

I don't want to search
No, 
I don't need to search when I have you.

Friday, September 12, 2014

idea

Do you think stereotypes are true? If asked this question yesterday and ever day before that I would most likely respond..
No, of course not but there has to be some truth behind a stereotype. Why else would they start and continue to be around if there wasn't some truth behind them?
However, I think the reason why popular stereotypes thrive and are believed in our culture is because of this very thought. Specifically, the repetition of this very thought. Stereotypes are perpetuated countless times a day from many different platforms of communication, and of course the more we hear it the more believable. [Social media, comedy, etc]
Furthermore, I don't think it's the stereotype itself that is/was real. I think the repetition and wide-spread belief in the stereotype has helped make it real (at least somewhat). I know this is crazy idea, [so reader may beware] but bare with me. I'll use a stereotype that is widely joked about and believed in my town as an example. I live in a city with many Vietnamese people, and one stereotype I hear many times a week are complaints that "Asians are bad drivers." Going off of my earlier claim, that the more something is said the more believable it comes.. this is what keeps the stereotype alive. Lets suppose I am a new, young Asian driver. As a new driver of course it is natural to not be very good at it (similar to when you begin any new task). However because our media and culture has embedded this stereotype into our society, I may dismiss my "bad driving" due to the fact that I am Asian and not that I am a new driver. This is dangerous because if I amount my bad driving due to something I can not control, such as my ethnicity, it implies that I can do nothing to fix or change my poor driving skills. Perhaps I would not try as hard to fix my poor driving habits because I believe there is no use... because I am asian and always will be asian. 
There's something very powerful about repetition in our culture. It seems the more something is said the more value, respect, and truth it harbors.... This is not a new phenomenon as one has seen it happen again and again in western civilization. [I am not educated enough to whether this happens in other less developed/different cultures tbh but I digress] Repetition has the ability to take an idea and spread it across one end of our country to the next. Repetition can take 
The more shares and comments a facebook video has the more worthy we deem it to watch. I see myself subconsciously rely on repetition every day. I search "cute dogs" on  youtube, and without thinking I choose the video with the most views. Because I have been conditioned to assume that more views means better quality. Most times this is right? Or so we think... but what about when this notion is wrong? 
If one day a person told me to jump from a 50 foot cliff into a seemingly shallow body of water because it was thrilling and fun.. I would tell him or her to screw off. But if perhaps 35 people told me to do the same thing I would begin to consider it. Perhaps the next day I saw several instagram posts of people (including friends) jumping from this same cliff. This bandwagon, this repetition, makes it seem more credible/desirable then when the first person originally proposed it. And the next time I arrive at this cliff, I too will jump. Even with risks involved, It's natural to trust bandwagons and it's also natural to want to hop on one. This is where I the obvious risks come in. 
Repetition can come in many forms.  

sterotypes, social media negative sharing essay

Do you think stereotypes are true? If asked this question yesterday and every day before that I would most likely respond..
No, of course not but there has to be some truth behind a stereotype. Why else would they start and continue to be around if there wasn’t some truth behind them?
However, now I think the reason why popular stereotypes thrive and are believed in our culture is because of this very thought. Specifically, the repetition of this very thought. Stereotypes are perpetuated countless times a day from many different platforms of communication, and of course the more we hear it the more believable. [Social media, comedy, etc]
Furthermore, I don’t think it’s the stereotype itself that is/was real. I think the repetition and wide-spread belief in the stereotype has helped make it real (at least somewhat). I know this is crazy idea, [so reader may beware] but bare with me. I’ll use a stereotype that is widely joked about and believed in my town as an example. I live in a city with many Vietnamese people, and one stereotype I hear many times a week are complaints that “Asians are bad drivers.” Going off of my earlier claim, that the more something is said the more believable it comes.. this is what keeps the stereotype alive. Lets suppose I am a new, young Asian driver. As a new driver of course it is natural to not be very good at driving (similar to when you begin any new task). However because our media and culture has embedded this stereotype into our society, I may dismiss my “bad driving” due to the fact that I am Asian and not that I am a new driver. This is dangerous because if I amount my bad driving due to something I can not control, such as my ethnicity, it implies that I can do nothing to fix or change my poor driving skills. Perhaps I would not try as hard to fix my poor driving habits because I believe there is no use… because I am asian and always will be asian. 
Let’s say a person named Nick was the first person to begin to ever correlate Asians with bad driving skills. Maybe on Monday Nick was driving and was cut off dangerously by a driver who appeared to be asian.. of course he noticed this person’s appearance because he was directly involved in the incident. Nick drives to the market on Wednesday when he is hit by a driver who also appears to be Asian… now perhaps Nick has it in his head that the two shared characteristics of these poor drivers have some effect on their driving skills…. and so the the stereotyped is birthed! Now Nick tells a few friends and it slowly makes it way around perhaps to someone with influence. Let’s say…. a famous comedian? Let’s say Dane Cook hears the stereotype and jokes about it in his stand up. Now the stereotype has made its way to us, to the mainstream. This is important to mention because now the next time we see someone cut us off abruptly the first thing we will subconsciously look for is if they are asian. Maybe we will catch ourselves making a racial remark, “Damn Asians!” This is significant because if the next day we are cut off by a white person we will not comment on anything about his or her race instead we may scream something along the lines of, “Fucking shit man!” This is why stereotypes spread…. because we are subconsciously looking for reasons to validate the claims they make. We are naturally on the look out for cause to use them ourselves because heck… if millions of other people are saying it…if Dane Cook is saying it…. if Mom is saying it….. it must be true right?! 
Wrong. 
There’s something very powerful about repetition in our culture. It seems the more something is said the more value, respect, and truth it harbors…. This is not a new phenomenon as one has seen it happen again and again in western civilization. [I am not educated enough to claim whether this happens in other cultures tbh but I digress] Repetition has the ability to take an idea and spread it across one end of our country to the next. This is what is beautiful about communication. However, this is also very detrimental as we often may spread ignorant claims that can set us back on topics such as gender equality, sexual orientation, and racism. The repetition of a racial joke, disrespectful claim about homosexuals or women can cause a very big problem in our culture.
Technology and social media are great, and there’s no doubt about that.. But I also think we need to realize that when this sharing and spreading acts as a vehicle to the promotion of disrespect to women, homosexuals, people of any color it acts as very real threat to the progression of civil rights and mutual respect among all races and both genders… even if we don’t realize it! 
I see it happen everyday, multiple times a day as I am admittedly very active among mainstream social media outlets. The more shares and comments a facebook video has the more worthy we deem it to watch. The more retweets a given tweet has the more likely I will be to take the time to read it rather than scroll by. In fact, I see myself subconsciously rely on repetition every day. I search “cute dogs” on  youtube, and without thinking I choose the video with the most views. Because I have been conditioned to assume that more views means better quality. Most times this is right? Or so most think… and that’s okay. What about when this notion is wrong?
I recently started to read Tuesdays with Morrie and inside the novel there is an idea talking about Tension of Opposites. This reminds me of how social media can be so unbelievably progressive and positive, and at the same time be so negative and destructive. Every single day I see people sharing videos about things like suicide prevention and activism while protests desperately fight for justice in Ferguson. However I see the exact opposite happening simultaneously and abundantly while most of us don’t consider the impeding affect our simple retweet, reblog, or share may be causing on our constant struggle to end issues such as racism and sexism.
Most can agree that the more we hear something or see something the less effect it has on us. One’s tolerance of alcohol depends on frequency and amount in which one drinks it…. although there is still an effect on our body we are able to consume more. This is good for college students, but not very convenient for an alcoholic. Alcohol can be fine in moderation maybe even bring a smile to our face.. but at the end of the day there still remains the fact, the truth, that alcohol is indeed poison to our bodies. Now imagine alcohol, in this sense, is the aggregate sum of all negative things we are sharing on social media; whether it be a racial joke, a negative stereotype, a disrespectful generalization about women it may be seemingly harmless in the moment but undeniably still toxic to our culture. 
For example I’ll take something that I have seen firsthand and can relate to extremely. I believe the spread and wide acceptance of derogatory terms against women (especially young women) is largely thanks to how we use and share such terms on social media. Most twitter users can attest to seeing young men call young women sluts, hoes, thots, and bitches multiple times on any given day. Others can attest to a women’s body being exploited as a mad boyfriend or shady person shares a woman’s nudes on social media. Whether or not you are joking when you call a women a hoe or you objectify a woman’s body this is still part of the overall problem. Relating back to my earlier claim that the more we see something the less affect it has well all is in the same with disrespecting women because now it has become normal to call a woman a hoe. It has become common practice to call a woman a slut. Whether you mean it or not the danger is in the fact that many of us are no longer even phased by such negative and hurtful words. This is especially harmful to young impressionable minds. 
As the technological era thrives children will begin to have phones at earlier and earlier ages. If social media continues the path it is on young boys for example will grow up seeing that the use of derogatory terms against women is (at the least) common. Maybe just maybe they will be bright enough to know it is not right, but just the fact that it is commonplace makes it hazardous to the fight for gender equality. I would like to make a hypothesis that perhaps one day I can research at UCSB.. I think that a man who grew up a prevalent social media user is AT LEAST twice more likely to call a woman a derogatory term or disrespect a woman simply because she is woman than a man who grew up a non frequent social media user.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you disagree, but perhaps a few of you out there see some truth in what I am saying. Either way now that it is 7am and I am tired I will wrap up my unfinished claims with a final realization. A sort of insight I have acquired from writing this…. Social media is not to blame here. It is an easy scapegoat, but we must remember that it is us and largely the youth who control what we share. We control what “normal” and “acceptable” is. We control it all. As with everything there will be the tensions of opposites, but I just think it would beneficial for more of us to acknowledge and talk about how what we share can ultimately affect how we treat each other on a larger scale.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Dormant one week, overwhelming the next... My life seems to always be sitting on opposite sides of the spectrum. I am not accustom to normalcy in the sense I am not entirely sure if it exists. Extremes are what I know. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

A comment or two about our generation I wanted to express at 6am.. I may not make much sense but maybe I'll be able to utilize a few of these thoughts in the future

Many of us have heard our parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. drag on about how our generation is shit. How we don’t give a fuck about what our government does, about worldly events, well… about anything at all really. I disagree. I think our generation has trouble balancing our responsibilities. Whether it be responsibilities we have at home, school, or even the ones we uphold on a social level….. we have shitty time management. [Now if you’re some smart ass don’t get your panties in a wad I am speaking in mere generalities, personal experience, and only have a 12th grade education so reader you may beware….]
Lately I’ve been trying to keep moderately up to date with current events mainly what has been going on in my country. I have found this to be more difficult than I initially anticipated for a few reasons… 
There is so much shit going on in our country and to be completely honest is pretty difficult to wrap my head around let alone keep track of… education reform, police brutality, racism, water shortages, sexism, rape culture, anti immigration, civil rights cases…… the list goes on and on. 
It is so fucking hard to be an informed, educated young citizen who gives a shit when I’m constantly sharing, liking, tweeting, texting, calling, binging on netflix, scrolling through pictures of photoshopped models, ranting on tumblr ….. I guess what I’m trying to imply is that social media is great but also paralyzing. Now, I’m not blaming anyone for this.. We make our own choices when it comes to how we decide to divide our time. 

Our time consumption is not limited to our bad habits. Many of my contemporaries have already returned to school and are working a part time job… I currently don’t have it half as bad, and I myself am struggling to stay up to date with events effecting my community/country. This is why I think it is unfair for our elders to assume our lack of involvement is due to a lack of character or substance. A lot of us want to help, and I would even go as far to argue that a lot of us want to take part in the change we want to see in our society… we are just very, very distracted. We don’t have our priorities straight and it is especially hard to stay informed on even the most pressing issues when the most mainstream news outlets no longer offer true objectivity. 
Its so fucking hard to find a single news station, paper, online editorial, etc. that is completely objective. Every source I come across seems to have an underlying tone or at least a presence of bias. Now I believe this lack of objectivity in mainstream news outlets presents a problem for us (the youth). Many of us are still trying to figure out where we stand on the political spectrum as well as simultaneously learning how to garner our own identity/thoughts/deal with other generic adolescence bullshit. Whether we like to admit or not, as youth we are still very impressionable. Consequently, this is why objectivity is so crucial for a young reader/citizen. 
Mainstream media outlets need to stop trying to mold us, convince us, condition us to be and to think how they want us to. Let us try to think for our fucking selves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, realistically I admit this will probably never happen because that is not good business and there’s no profit in honesty. Where there are billions of dollars of money to be made, we can almost always be certain corruption is lurking nearby in the shadows. Short of a revolution, I can’t say I have the slightest clue of a truly formidable solution. I do have some silly ideas but with lack of funding or any remote influence these will most likely never see the light of day…… However I think because of my naive nature that partners with my young age I still believe our generation has potential and power. If even a fraction of more of us learn how to better channel our passions and efforts to pressing social issues we could move mountains. 

Perhaps the next time I feel like going on a rant I’ll go into detail about how I think we can improve ourselves as citizens as we learn to use our voices as means of influence…….. that is if I’m not too busy sharing another selfie ;-)