Tuesday, December 27, 2011

So............bored.................with everything.


I need some fast acting motivation because there is only a week left of break and I am not feeling reenergized like I was hoping... maybe this is all my mindset... I need to change... okay, I can do this i can do this i can do this

Saturday, December 24, 2011

alone for life

Disappointing ends.
Sporadic mends.
Typical trends.
Spontaneous spends.
Straight bends.
Whimsical lends.
Disappointing ends.
In the beginning I misunderstood, but now I got it.
The word is good.

Friday, December 23, 2011

If only I put as much energy into homework as I do into making mixed CDs....

bitches better like them

Thursday, December 22, 2011

This is a photo of by BFF Linda Nguyen.
She is so cute it makes my toe hairs tingle.

First day of Lip Sync Sh-nannys

One Backdrop done. My back hurts. Paint is every where. I'm too lazy to shower tonight... I dont want to wake up tomorrow gue.
Lessons of the day:
Anne Gock......
Stupid May people.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I need more close* friends........

I need more friends............

Friday, December 16, 2011



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My heart is stressin for a blessing.

I want to start either a Creative Thinkers Club or a Creative Writing Club...... I'm not sure which... the first is more open-ended, which may be more appealing... but would also be harder to regulate.

My dog of 12 years is going to be put down tomorrow, and I'm going to have to fulfill my commitment at this community service event. Fake smiles and teary eyes all day tonight and tomorrow.

watch this

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework. Homework, homework, and more homework, no sleep, sadness, depression, anxiety, homework, homework, fucking fun friday, savior saturday, sleepy and stressful sunday, homework, anxiety, depression, sadness, no sleep, homework, homework, and more Homework.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011

my eye lids are heavy,
inspiration running through me
veins thick,
smooth vibes and confusion on a lonely saturday night
weekends are too short now

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

this is what history does to a person:

Just to think about a human being having to wear an iron muzzle like a dog is fucking sickening. My heart goes out to all slaves, but especially to those who rebelled against their "masters". Truly from my heart, I just want you know to know your fight, small or big, made a difference. The pain and tribulations you survivors went through is fucking embarrassing to the history of man kind... I can only endlessly long to tell you that you were right. I want to let you know that in the end, you fucking won. I, again, can only wish I could share only a mere fraction of the freedom I am blessed with today. The freedom you would share with me. As an equal. As a liberated citizen. Your guys' courage influences me to stand. If it kills me I will at least, on a small scale, fight for what I believe or want. We our only ants because we believe we are ants. Together we can build a fucking colony. A colony stronger than any corporation. A colony bigger than any evil elite. A colony bigger than any politician's lies. Together we are power. The middle class may be disappearing, but together we can retake what is ours. I sit here, a naive fifteen year old, with big hopes, big ambitions, and yet, to me the wrongs in our country seem so fucking ridiculously obvious.... tangible. I sit here wondering is everyone in our nation OBLIVIOUS? Is our majority giving in? Have we forgotten what this nation was built on? We could be the biggest fucking colony any corrupt government has seen, and yet we sit here, pretending everything is okay. Pretending everything will be okay. And yet we sit here, and leave our future to handful of people. WE are the majority. WE ALL need to open our eyes. Get the fuck off your asses people. Not everything they tell you is true... I am an extremest and I admit that. I let my creative mind interfere with reality, and I admit that.... but truly people, how fucking numb can we get?

Monday, December 5, 2011

trying desperately not to give up....... if only i were smart enough to construct a clone robot of myself to go to school for me.... I'd still attend the dances and anything unrelated to math and spanish....other than that I'd be free as can be....

hm... history really interests me now that I think of it.... maybe I'll be a history teacher... hm....

Sunday, December 4, 2011

how u durn

Mary's party = fun saturday night.
She pretty much was passed out for her whole party...haha
I love everyone who came except some peeps who were secluded anyway...
good times =]

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


please God help me stay sane in this crazy house....

my family, this home, this situation, this exam, this financial crisis, this lack of respect, this lack of family.... is stressing me out.

I just want to sleep and not have to deal with anyones' bullshit.
but that can't happen....
the clock is ticking... writing this doesn't stop anything...
the world stops for nothing...
tomorrow ill take that exam, whether im ready or not.
this week my dog will be put down, whether im ready or not.
this week family drama will continue like it always will, whether im ready or not.
i just want to have peace... once... for one week... for one day.... but no..
I just have to keep telling myself soon this will all pass. Secretly I know that's not cutting it anymore....
this will all pass.
this will all pass.
this will pass.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

My dog has cancer. This break has done nothing but fucking suck. I love you brandy. I love you brandy. I love you brandy.....

I'm going to miss you brandy.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

this break isn't much of a break....


Saturday, November 19, 2011


sucks the big one. making my life miserable.

Friday, November 18, 2011

havent been this sick in a long time.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

amazingly accurate - career quiz

ENFPs represent between 6 and 8% of the U.S. population

Curious, energetic, adaptable, and creative, ENFPs like considering unconventional approaches. They enjoy batting around ideas and finding creative solutions and are energized and intrigued by new possibilities and anything out of the ordinary. ENFPs tend to be talkative, enthusiastic, playful, and generally fun-loving people. Warm and caring, ENFPs have strong personal values upon which they base most decisions. Conversations with ENFPs can be very circular as they excitedly move from one topic to the next, making connections and associations.

Unconventional and occasionally irreverent, they pride themselves on their uniqueness and originality. Optimistic, and spontaneous, ENFPs have a strong sense of the possible. For them, life is an exciting drama. Because they are so interested in possibilities, ENFPs see significance in all things and prefer to keep lots of options open.

Some careers or ministries that often appeal to ENFPs are: artist/entertainer, public speaker/evangelism, clergy/counselor, consultant, journalist, social scientist, nurse, writer/editor, teacher/trainer, youth worker, missions, public relations, social worker, advocate for the less fortunate.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Motivation/Goal = get good enough grades to qualify/afford GOING AWAY for college.

Slept for 5 hours.... nap was awesome.

Although, I'm not tired because of this nap I am going to try to go to sleep by 12:30.

Looked into some scholarship information today... there are a lot I can qualify for now, so I think when I have some extra time I'll be looking more intensely/seriously into those various opportunities....

Other than that, I've got a busy week ahead of me. Major exams, leadership & lipsync deadlines, club responsibilities, family/friend responsibilities, and various council meetings. Fortunately, Thanksgiving break is right around the corner. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Oh.. I'm getting sick. Weird.. I'm never sick.
I want to work out.....

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Homework day. All day. Sad day. Oh well. this will not be the death of me!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

failed plans, cold hands. homework and hot chocolate, occasional cough. winter is near.
homework soothes no pain
Marianna's birthday night. Fun fun. Happy Vets day.

-sketch h.b.
-bunk / buck / boojie / dank / dookie
-joey throwing up

_addition: charlie

Friday, November 11, 2011

i hate being lied to... especially when it's obvious and pointless. nothing just turned into something...

funny how you lied to try avoid problems. hah.

do you guys think im stupid?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Note to self: Read everyday.

Life. Life is a beautiful mystery. Be happy you are alive. Pray and be happy. You may not achieve everything you want, you may look dumb or act stupid sometimes, but life goes on. Time stops for no one. This is only temporary. Stand for what is right, and try to fix what is wrong. You are not perfect. Work everyday, love everyday. You will get through this.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Homecoming Season and October

are both pretty much over...
Homecoming game and dance were let downs in my opinion. Oh well. Moving on. No time to think or stop or breath. I've only had one and 1/2 a meal today.

I just want to fast forward this next week. The play is not going to be as good as it could be. It is what it is. I would write more, but I don't have any time.

Tomorrow is halloween. I haven't carved a pumpkin or watched one scary movie. I doubt I'll even do anything tomorrow night. This is how students of the months live. I'm still proud of myself. =]

Monday, October 24, 2011

being busy = being unhealthy

I don't get enough sleep. I have no time to breathe. I have too much stress. My only enjoyment where I'm going to try to let it all go and forget everything I have to do in a short amount of time is the homecoming game and homecoming dance. I can't wait to dance the night away with my girls. This year at the dance and game I need to take many more photos.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

there is always something.
It is time to stop ignoring God...
time to put up or shut up

Sunday, October 16, 2011

sky high

sketchy business and all night sweaty fun at sky high with some awesome people...

regular jumping seems so dull now

Saturday, October 8, 2011

everyone is no one just trying to get their own shit done
i feel fat

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Always remember the more you have to think about, the less thinking you do.

feeling use(d)less

i feel the distance growing. the distance between me and everything. between me and everyone. all this, when all i wanted to do was to be close enough to touch. every time i get close, NATURAL disaster. no red cross. no salvation. people always move on... always find the next best thing....return to old connections, and come back to you when their first choices aren't available. i am your back up plan; old news. hard copy, there when you want me. a door always unlocked, you're too comfortable to knock. im nothing but realiable now, reuseable... the moment you start thinking you're no longer alone, is the moment you're reminded why you're wrong.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

old general

learning something every second of every day, taking advantage of everything im blessed with, but at the same time taking nothing for granted. i really am grateful. even when i forget to say thank you; help me remember.
"Still running with barefeet, I ain't got nothing but my soul. Freedom is the ultimate goal."
-for women, reflectional eternal

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Neon Nights was a big success, but it also kicked my ass. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED RIGHT NOW. Months of hardwork paid off!!! If only I could relax... but no.... homework,tests, and now the play. Pumped on getting the lead role, I'm just nervous because of all the additional pressure....................

someone massage my smelly feet

Monday, September 19, 2011

this was probably the scariest night of my life.
i just want to hug my mom and tell her i love her. i just i want her to be ok.
im stilled worried and scared.
go tell your mom you love her and give her the longest hug you've ever given her and then pray for mine.
i love my mom so much and after tonight ill never take her for granted again.
and ill never let her forget that she is loved. someone loves her. i love her. i love her so much. she. is. loved. i cant imagine losing her..... what my life would be without her... i just love her so much.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Life. It feels so good to know you have so much more in store for me.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Other than my previous thought, tonight was a good night. A really good night. Had the chance to catch up with some of the few people I love. Feels good. We're family no matter what.
I feel as if our paths once crossed, maybe even began to intertwine. I'm beginning to recognize that they're slowly unraveling. Coming to terms with that maybe one day they stop touching all together. This, I'm okay with. This, is reality. Life goes on. People move on. It's just crazy to think that someone who was once such a big influence and part of your life can turn into merely a name you have in your phone book...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Already super busy with school. Summer is over. Summer is definitely over. I'm enjoying it so far. It's unarguably challenging, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm off to a pretty good start... Time to be consistent. One of my biggest problems..... consistency. I have a paper due tonight which I should get started on, but first.... I need food. Nervous for my first ap test already... gueeeeeeeeeee


Monday, September 5, 2011

Ugh. I love being young and alive.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Back, hurts. Eyes, red. Arms, tired. Head, dizzy.
All this and I'm not even done with my homework yet...
I need to finish everything tomorrow.
This is what I get for procrastinating....

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Monday, August 22, 2011

I forgot what it felt like to have your eyelids heavy from tiredness. This familiar feeling. This bad choice, this procrastination. Unsettled anxieties sitting awoken, like a remembered dream, at the pit of my stomach. My eyes burn. I turn up the music and move to the rhythm to try to keep myself awake. Commitments are commitments. Sunday night. A typical Sunday night.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Crunch time

And so the summer ap homework comes crashing down on me oh so suddenly.... I've got 10 days to pull this out of my ass. Can be done. Can be done.

Monday, August 15, 2011

This summer in three words:
Hard. fucking. work.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

this is going to be a good life

1. What are your siblings MIDDLE names?
2. Where is your dad right now?
3. What was the last thing you said?
4. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
that I enjoy dancing with hot boys who are hot and good dancers

5. What color is your watch?

6. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
good eye might <- say it
7. When was the last time you squatted to pee?
loooong time
8. Who is the last person you liked?
james franco
9. Are you close to your mom?
asi, asi
10. Where does your best friend work?
11. What is your least attractive feature?
12. What color are your pants?
they're soffe shorts and they're navy blue
13.Do you have a roommate?
had a roomate for 3 days at asbcamp this week... voni. i love her
14.Do you prefer paper or plastic?
15. What color is your bedroom flooring?
16. Do you have a chair in your room?
17. What time of day were you born?
18. Do you know anyone engaged?
19. What's your favorite number?
dont have one
20. Do you know anyone named Laurie?
yes! my good looking cousin!!!
21. What color is your mom's hair?
dirty blond
22. Do you have a dog?
yes! 2...well one and a half...quarter
23. Where did you live in 1987?
no where
24. What happened to you in 1993?
got a sissy
25. Does your first memory involve your dad?
dont remember
26. Do you remember singing any songs as kids?
yeah to simple plan
27. When was the last time you went swimming?
this summer at malisas
28. Has your luggage ever got lost?
no =] but someone played a prank on me and hid my clothes
29. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
a few hours ago
30. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
YES just got back from it... ASB camp every highschool summer baby <3
31. Do you play an instrument?
the kazoo
32. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar?
33. Do you like fire?
no...i like incents
35. Are you allergic to anything?
36. When was the last time you cried?
when listening to the key note speaker talk about a disabled boy scoring a home run
37. What kind of shampoo do you use?
38. Have you ever been to a spa?
39. Were you popular in high school?
i consider myself well known only because i have blond hair which is a minority at our school
40. Did you take science all four years of high school?

41. Do you like butterflies?
yes!!! i love them
42. What is the last book you read?
farenheight 451
43. Do you like Coke or Pepsi more?
coke!!! no doubt reminds me of a team building workshop
44. What is one thing you miss about your past?
no homework and friends i used to see more of
45. Did you ever see the school nurse?

46. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
yes! i want to be one still
47. What is one thing you've learned about life?
that you will never stop learning
48. Are you jealous of anyone?
not outrageously
49. Is anyone jealous of you?
im not sure
50. When was the last time you were in an elevator?
yesterday at UCSB... i wanna go back to camp!!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

ocl 2011

I had too much fun at ASB camp. I miss it already.
ASB camp 2011 you were amazing.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

UCSB here I come. Catch you guys on the flipside.

Sunday, August 7, 2011


a stranger called my friend and me beautiful in passing.

In other news I hate it when you can't tell if a boy is just trying to make conversation or if he's hitting on you.

I've realized with such little random/general/casual human interaction these days every conversation initiated without any real cause is assumed as creepy or threatening. Just a thought.

Friday, August 5, 2011

ASB camp in 5 days

I'm not ready, but I'm ready.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


hard work and sleep and no sleep and puppies and laundry and last minute hangouts and all nighters and food and more food and asb and not doing homework and friends and family and food again and shorts and sun burn and no money and asb

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I'm unavoidable like death

I haven't felt this good in a long time, and I think I know why.
Life is going swimmingly.
I'm loving it.
I feel good.
The positive vibes remain, hoping and praying they're here to stay.

Getting to know lots of new people, networking. It's refreshing.
Building on old chemistry and creating long time friends.
Catching up with best friends.

People, people, and more people all around me. Feels good. However, I have accepted that you are alone, and I am okay with that. Learning something new everyday. Life is most enjoyable for me when I am doing so.

My prayers are being answered.
I feel my faith strengthening...
I haven't felt this good in a long time.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

notes on current feelings

Feeling content. Happy. Satisfied for the most part. I haven't really "done" a lot this summer, but for some reason I'm not really bent out of shape about it. I would describe this summer as laid back. I'm enjoying free time, sleeping in, writing, and hanging around people I want to be around. I could always ask for more, but I don't find myself doing so. Keeping things positive. It feels good to be my own person again. Regrouped. Positive. Free. I think this is why I am not disappointed with my summer. I feel good. Mellow. Relaxed. No worries. I haven't had this in a while.

:) :) :) :) :)

Don't get me wrong I'm still planning on doing a lot the rest of this summer, but I'm just saying I'm not disappointed with how it's been so far. Good vibes all around.

Monday, July 18, 2011

"I dream too much and I don't write enough, and I'm trying to find God everywhere - trying to figure out this thing called a man."

Fransico is probably the only man I would marry right now....
like right now.
right, right now.
right now.

being young

Being young is fucking hard.
Everything is against you.
Odds. money. people. history. statistics. drugs. credit. experience.

I feel like part of the reason why everyone is automatically more respected when they are old is because everyone recognizes that they've made it.
They made it through all the same shit you're going through now.
They serve as our reminders, that we can make it too.

Friday, July 15, 2011

It's time to wake the fuck up.

Currently not sleeping at 4:30 in the morning. I took it upon myself to catch up on ASB work. Tonight was long overdue, but better late than never. I've recently decided to get my shit together again. I found my bible last night. Been praying the last few nights consecutively, and am going to keep it up. I'm trying to rekindle my relationship with Jesus. No more excuses. I'm writing again. I've been praying for motivation. Things are looking up. I've also decided to broaden my horizons. I do not want to waste my summer bumming it around all day. I'm going to be networking a lot more than I have in the past, and am reconsidering my motives and goals. I forgot how positive I used to be, and am now trying to bring certain aspects of who I used to be, back. Currently I am enjoying the familiar positive vibes. I have a lot of hopes for the rest of this summer, and anticipate meeting a lot new people and experiencing new things. Going out there with an open mind, and I feel good.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I just want the world to wake up, so I can get this show on the road. I want to get my shit together. I want to care. I want to live, and I want to take advantage of my youth and of my freedom. My life is only beginning. Right now is crucial. Right now is crucial. Right now will always be crucial.

Goodnight daytime sleepers.
Goodmorning nightime dreamers.

7 billion human beings on this earth.
Most of which you will never meet.
However, a small portion, a very small portion, you will meet. An even smaller portion of these people, you will learn to love.
Don't be just another statistic.
Get out there. Put yourself out there.
Network, network, and then network some more.

I'm loving summer.
And I'm loving these positive vibes.
Time to put some effort into my life.
Time to wake the fuck up.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I feel good about myself. I feel good about my friends. I feel good about my future.
Most of all...I feel good about the rest of this summer.

I'm happy, independent, and enjoying being young and free.

Today was hard work. I'm sunburned. Tonight was fun. I love birthday parties, Asian people, and catching up. I've forgotten what it feels like to be this tired. This reminds me of school. I don't know how I pulled of a 3.7.......

The music, still audible, still playing, starts to fade...
You start to fade...
Time is passing, fast.
You're living, slow.

Friday, July 8, 2011

bad boys

whats your name spelt backwards?

What did you do last night?
went to veronica/vanessas and went night swimming :)

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?

Last time you swam in a pool?
last night! sososo refreshing!

What are you wearing?

How many cars have you owned?

Type of music you dislike most?

Are you registered to vote?
i wish

Do you have cable?

What kind of computer do you use?

Ever made a prank phone call?

You like anyone right now?
kinda sorta notreally

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

Furthest place you ever traveled?
new york

What's your favorite comic strip?
sleeping 101

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?

Shower, morning or night?

Best movie you've seen in the past month?
maybe transformers 3.....maybe. its a new month

Favorite pizza toppings?

Chips or popcorn?

What cell phone provider do you have?

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

Orange Juice or apple?

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?

favorite chocolate bar?

Who is your longest friend and how long?
ariahna....14 yearsish

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
dont care

Have you ever won a trophy?

Favorite arcade game?
house of war

Ever ordered from an infomercial?

Sprite or 7-UP?

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?

Ever thrown up in public?

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
-.- true love

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Did you have long hair as a young kid?

What message is on your voicemail machine?
a computer

Where would you like to go right now?

Whats the name of your pet?

Last person you held hands with?

Last person's bed you were in, other than your own?

Current bother?
That'd i'm bothered......

One weakness?

Favorite thing?

Last person to give you his/her number?
johny or jonny or somethin

What's something you said today that sticks out to you?
Looks like I'm back to square one.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Are you currently looking for a significant other?
currently having fun....being young and free. definitely have a few love interests at the moment but not committing to anyone or anything anytime soon. having fun, having fun... =)

Did the last person you kiss have tattoos?

How did you get your last bruise?
being dumb

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
a puppy named taylor

Who was the first person to text you today?

Are you currently sad about anything?
that its so hot im sweating by just sitting here and doing nothing. i wish i lived alone so i could take of my clothes and not be hot.... -____-

Are you tired?

Where were you at noon yesterday?
watching transfomers 3 :)

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
yes.. hell yes

Do you have trust problems?
yes...... DTA ALL DAY

Do you dance?
for fun. i love it!

Name something that made you frown today?
the weather

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
yes... a few people actually

How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else?
happy for him

Are you in a good mood right now?
a little giddy

Ever been called babe?
quite a few

Do you have anything that belongs to a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Who was the last person you had an argument with?
um..... probably mary hahaha

Do you believe exes can be friends?

Do you have a best friend?
i think so

Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you?

Are you in the middle of texting someone?
yes actually... this is refreshing :)

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
i have a right to use my imagination

Do you think things will change in the next few months?

Whats the last taste in your mouth?

Do you know any of your neighbors?

Has anyone ever bought you a ring?

Who was the last girl you talked to?

Describe your day so far in three words:
hot....hot... and hot

Look at your nails; Do they need to be cut?

Have you been on any type of online messengers today?

Who was the last person you called?

What are you wearing on your feet?

About how many hours of sleep did you get last night?
like 3/4

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school?
um...... one doesnt pop out

What are you currently dressed in?

List three things near you:
phone/computer/my dog brandy

What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
max goes to college

What was the last thing you looked up on Google?

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to?
ryan leslie

Is your hair naturally straight?

Do you own a pair of slippers?

Is there anyone that you're mad at right now?

Who was the last person to make you smile?

Do you think love is overrated?

What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear?
good smelling ones

When was the last time you went on a cleaning spree?
a quarter to never

Did you have a valentine for valentines day?

Ever ditched out on plans to do something better with someone else?

Is there something you want to say to someone but can't/won't?

Is there snow on the ground where you are?
......no wtf

What is keeping you warm right now?

Do you think it's cute when a boyfriend/girlfriend gives a random gift?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

This confusion feeds my soul.
This illusion seduces us all.
I just like this kind of attention.
Somebody provide me with further entertainment...
So...........Who wants to be my summer lover?
the awkward moment when you're your own best friend.............hahaha
that awkward moment when you laugh at yourself after realizing how stupid something you did was...... me.
Is it bad that I've already forgotten what you look like?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?

Who is your last text from?

Which movie did you last see in theaters?
bridesmaids -_______- dont ask

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
who was that........joey? yee

Are you crushing on someone?

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?

Who's thinking about you right now?

Do you like to cuddle?

Are you keeping a secret right now?

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?

What is your current annoyance?
annoying people

Are you easily scared by horror movies?
not usually

Do you know anyone who's been in jail?

Does someone like you right now?

Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends?

Are you a risk taker?
i rode down the handrail connecting the two stories of target outside the mall....that was pretty risky of me

Are you anyone's first love?

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?

What was your worst mistake in your life?
....not speaking up

What's something you really want right now, be honest!
more summertimes, more sleep, more lovin

Are you looking forward to anything?
summer nights, asb camp, summer nights, more summer nights, hot boys, sexy boys, no homework for a few more months, summer nights,

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?

Plans for tomorrow?
jessicas goodbye breakfast

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?

Is the last person you hugged older than you?

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?

Have you ever cried during a movie?

Are you comfortable with your height?

Whats your favorite thing to eat?

Last text recieved?
"what pinn"

What is sitting next to you?

Do you have a bad temper?

Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

Are you easily amused?

Do you miss someone?

Who was your last received call from?

Are you doing anything tonight?
went to the beach and hung out with oscar/david/jack/henry

Do you speak more than 6 languages?

Who else is in the room with you?

Do you think you will be married in 5 years?
not even close

How do you feel about your hair?
its growing.........getting there

Do you sleep with a fan on?

What is bothering you?
im tired now

Were you happy when you woke up?
no i wanted to go back to sleep.....

When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind?

Do you mind being cold?

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

If you could go back 8 months and change something would you?

Do you drink coffee?
pussy coffee

Have you ever liked someone older than you?

Do you find piercings attractive?

When is your birthday?

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Ever made someone cry?

Are you mad at your best friend?

Who's bed did you sleep in last night?

Did you sleep in past noon today?
i wish

Is this year the best year of your life?
doubt it

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment?
i dont avoid those things ...........OH WAIT just kidding hahahahah *tear face*

Names You Go By:

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:

Do you still have feelings for your ex?

Have you ever been given roses?

What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
notebook/its a wonderful world

Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

Have you ever had sex?

Have you ever had your heart broken?
haha yes

Your thoughts on online relationships?
no. not cool. unpractical. gross.

Have you ever seen a guy friend as more than a friend?

How many kids do you want to have?
i dont want girls

What is your favorite color(s)?

What are your views on gay/lesbian marriage?
that state should not be involved with who people marry regardless of mine or anyones' views

Do you believe you truly only love once?
haha no

Imagine you’re 79 & your spouse just died, would you re-marry?

Do you know someone who likes you?

Do you like anyone?

Do you love anyone?
a lot of people

Sunday, June 19, 2011

break the bricks,
climb over them,
and when the sirens scream,
laugh aloud,
hold my hand and run fast.
Run through the streets with me with a bunch of bottles,
a bucket of gasoline,
a mouthful of matches,
a pocket full of paintings
and fresh faced batch of policemen to chase the fires we are lighting
Finally going to sleep.
I love summertime!!!

People who have no say in what I choose to do need to stop acting like they have control over me. Who are you to tell me what to do?
I do want I want.
Shove your rules where the sun don't shineeeeeeee bro

In other news, tonight was pretty fun. Not as good as yesterday night, but still fun! :)

can't wait for the many summer nights and future adventures


What were you doing five minutes ago?

What are you excited for?
Warped tour seeing dance gavin dance/syg and other awesome bands!!! Ugh going to be so fun!!

Highlight of your day?
Hm....... kings cup was pretty fun hahaha

Anything you want to do right now?

Anything you should be doing right now?

stopping here.
night sexy people.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


I love my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh......... I love my friends sooo much!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

love them so much (plus others which I didnt get good or any photos with)









michelle y raffa




Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I am going to miss my friends.

Today consisted of fatigue, annoyances, getting cute, LOTS AND LOTS OF PHOTOS, tears, laughs, frustration, and reminiscing.

Class of 2011, I am so proud of you guys!! Ugh, the school is not going to be the same with out you........
A decent portion of my loves are leaving me! :(
As for everyone staying local....I still love you and we are going to have the best summer ever together! :)

In other news I can't believe I wasted two hours+ at olive garden...unsatisfied. :( At least Summer and Jessica were good company! Pictures up later because Jessica is a lagger!!!

As of right now, I have my hardest finals tomorrow.... (of course ):
I should start studying...... going to get comfortable and start studying. I can do this. Just two more days. Just two more days.

this was bowling night! Ugh, I love these people so much.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Working like dogs

Worked on my final flash animation at Martin's for a year and a half today.
Last week of school. I can do this.
Martin's boss at flash(....kinda). He saved my ass though, so I'm forever grateful!
Thanks for slothmaster. :)

In other news, I can barely keep my eyes open = time to start my other homework!
I'm getting a D in geometry.
Fuck- fuck. fuck. fuck. FUCK.

The eye joke. Too good.

A message to the help:

We've got no where to go, and no one to go with.
Lets travel together.
I want to travel with you.
Be my partner in crime.
I'll be your justice.
Lets travel together.
I want to travel with you.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Ay niña
Yo te encuentro
Solita por la calle
Yo me siento amorado
Yo me siento triste solo

Djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas
Djobi djobi djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas
Djobi djobi djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas

Que lo me importa
Que lo distancia
Ya nos separe
Yo me contento me retir
Y no me diga ay
Para guarja ja

Djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas
Djobi djobi djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas
Djobi djobi djobi djoba
Cada dia te quiero mas

Good Sunday

Super 8 with Oscar was fun. Only 5 bucks!! J.J Abrhams better side of directing, produced by Spielberg.... reminded me of his roots (the goonies).

Bowling with Jessica, Yazmin, Angie, Vanessa, George, Dominic, Luis, Joey, and Derrick was zeeeeee bombs. I miss bowling!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

when asked "What does writing mean to you?"

Writing for me is more than a teenage phase or some cliche love expedition. Writing for me is freedom. In my opinion, there is no greater feeling than that which freedom provides. Before writing, I was not a passionate person. To have no limits, no rules, no confinements, is something to be cherished, and is something I most definitely take advantage of. To write or to write? There is no option for me anymore... My name is Michelle Martinez. I play rugby, take too many naps for my own good, am horrible at math, have a premium disneyland pass, don't believe in luck or wishes, enjoy learning something new everyday, have been homeless before, don't finish most books I start, talk more about government conspiracies than shoes, enjoy hot boys who smell good, like all genres of real music, and take pride in my youth.
Moments when you question why you do the things you do and put up with certain things people do to you.
Moments like these.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

la dispute

Maybe it’s just as much about what comes our way as it is how we react.
Just as much about the things that we’ve still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know, we won’t always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we’re still here, and we still breathe,
At least we’ve still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I’ve been making up inside my head,
And to know what’s real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way it goes.
For the things that came, not the things I chose to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it’d comfort me.

someone buy me the feather room!

I can not put a lid on top of my love,
all i can do is take these great arms of mine
dip them into that star,
and like paint brain brushes
swing them across empty spaces to see what might fall through the clouds

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Lets just get married and call it a day.
Lets just get married and call it a great fucking day.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

home is wherever im with you

im talking about stones here

Studied like a dog.
Tired, I am. I am tired.
Shower then sleep.

Nothing too exciting go on right now... just dealing with end of the year festivities. Parties and finals. Goodbyes and free time. The end of the school year is always bitterSWEET.

Starting a creative writing club at my school.
Need to get the packet.
Need to remember to get the packet.
And study some more.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Bullshit: (Noun) A thing taught at every public school, in almost every subject.

Bullshit: (Noun) A thing taught at every public school, in almost every subject. Majority of this bullshit is funded by our taxpayers' money. [Going to write a letter to our board of education in hopes of convincing them to at least somewhat stop wasting my time and our citizens money on the bullshit taught in our public schools]

I hate wasting my time(life) on busy work on subjects which will mean nothing to me by the end of summer. I will not remember the geometric formulas on how to find the volume of prisms and cones by next week, let alone the rest of my life. Nice try though, maybe if I wanted to go into some odd career which proves not worth tax payers' money to be taught to me because of the lack of actual jobs which apply the skills I am being taught in half my classes, maybe then this would seem more worth my time? That is irrelevant though, because I can definitely say the plans and goals I have for my life do not include memorizing these formulas and playing mathematician with nonexistent shapes. Where can I turn in my letter of resignation and refusal to further continue wasting my time with all the nonsense public schools insist on wasting our citizens' money by teaching? We're in a recession, it's time to get real America.

Just think about what else we could have students doing instead of some of the bullshit they teach us? Possibilities are endless.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

sitting here unsure of what to do.
maybe i should cry or scream or just start my homework.
but i do nothing. i sit here.
listening to music but not really listening.
hoping something will happen.
hoping i will make a move, but i dont.
i am drained.
i am drained and alone.
seems when you think you need someone most they are too busy with their own lives for you.
the world doesnt revolve around anyone.
time doesnt stop for anyone...
so i sit here unsure of what to do.
i am alone and drained.
i am alone and i feel close to no one.
i am alone
i feel close to no one

"Do you think the person you chose, put your number for the previous question as well?"

Friday, June 3, 2011

I'm tryna act like I can do without feeling on your booty
Find another ghetto cutie
To do me like you do me

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full

I need some meaning I can memorize

Don't covet my shit yo.

like a boss.
like a boss.

Monday, May 30, 2011


laughing all loud and shit.

just a reminder to myself that today we made history!

I spend too much damn time on the computer.


Sunday, May 29, 2011

"Time that I enjoy wasting isn't really a waste of time." -Ldawg

True that. ^

Long beach > Westminster
Long beach > Westminster
Long beach > Westminster
Long beach > Westminster

I don't want to leave.
I can't wait till summer, so I can practically live here again.
One more day of lounging and then its back to reality....
Only a few more weeks.
Summer, you are mine.
Summer, I am coming for you.

Are you coming up, or going under?
pero lyke
dont be alarmed i think
close yr eyes
old book misread

Friday, May 27, 2011

Been gone for awhile,
I'm back

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Play is over. No more rehearsal. Wooooopie!!!!!!!!!!! I'm free!!!!!!
Birth-day is pretty much over.
Movies with Oscar and David was cooooooolskis. :)

Hopefully I'll get to blow out some candles tomorrow so I can feel more birthday-ish. Heh.

To all the bitches who forgot my birthday (and if you're reading this, which im not sure if you do, but if you are, im not talking about you, so dont trip):

Happy New Year to myself

It's my birthday. Cool. :)
New Years resolutions:
-be nicer
-work out more
-find meaning again
-work on dedication
-try not be late as often as I am
-catch up with friends
-get people presents who I owe presents...
-give a shit
-start going to shows again
-write more, do something productive with it
-bring sexy back
-acquire an awesome closet, full of awesome clothes
-go to six flags with friends
-go to knotts scary farm again (hehe)
-be positive
-spread positivity
-be grateful
Just thinking about everyone who I used to know so well who are strangers now.
Thinking about the people still around.
Thinking about the people who I think will stick around..

I'm in love with life.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Last night's show was a bit better than tonight's, but satisfied once again :).

Thanks so much for coming out to everyone who did. Means a lot ;).
Last show tomorrow night. Then cast bonding time.


I.......don't really know...........what I am trying to say / do with anything lately. Birthday in two days. I think I'm going to celebrate it next weekend though, if anything.....

Eh.. = everything lately

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

photo challenge - (I'll do 2 a day)

1.Your fb profile picture-

Christie's birthday dinner ^
2. a photo of yourself a year ago

Almost exactly a year ago.... this was last year on my birthday

1. your facebook profile photo
2. a photo of yourself a year ago
3. a photo that makes you happy
4. a photo of the last place you went on holiday
5. a photo of you
6. a photo that makes you laugh
7. a photo of someone you love
8. a photo of your favourite band/musician
9. a photo of your family
10. a photo of you as a baby
11. a photo of your favourite film(s)
12. a photo of you
13. a photo of your best friend(s)
14. a photo of one of your favourite family members
15. a photo of you and someone you love
16. a photo of you at the last party you went to
17. a drunk photo of you
18. a photo of one of your classes
19. a photo of you on a school trip
20. a photo of something you enjoy doing
21. a photo of you standing up
22. a photo of your town
23. a photo of your friend as a baby
24. a photo of you that your hair looks nice in
25. a photo of a night you loved
26. a photo of your favourite weekend
27. a photo of last summer
28. a photo of what you ate today
29. a photo of someone you find attractive
30. a photo of you when you were happy

drain me so good

Play tomorrow.
Every family has one.
We're not ready.
Oh well.
Get shit done.
Be done.
The end.

Monday, May 16, 2011

To all the shady people in the world...


[Note the blank space] I have nothing to say to shady people. The fact is, I have no time for shady people. To all the liars: Save it.

Get on your fucking knees and cry me a fucking river.

Dont Trust Anyone.

I can't believe how stupid I was......

I cant do this anymore.

Correction: I'm not doing this anymore.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I remember when, you and me, how we used to be, just good friends. Wouldn't give me none, but all I wanted was some.

Where do we go from here?
It's Wednesday.
This week is going by slow.
Should be studying vocab.......
Will I ever sleep?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I think this is a test for us both.
For me, to try to help you out of this quandary.
For you, whether or not you will accept/consider the help.
Being young.
Being able to adapt.

I feel like water.
Keep me and I'll eventually shape to my container.
Pour me out and I'll be back to normal soon enough, no definite shape at all.....
The point is, I'd be fine.
To be fine? To be great?
Because right now.... I feel like water.
I'm slipping through the cracks of my foundation.
Someone be my foundation.
Let me be free, but tell me if you can handle being the container which holds me.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Mis Amigas

Saturday, May 7, 2011

After Prom feeling. I just can't believe it's over........

Good feeling though. Hope the pictures turn out well.... :)

It's kind of weird thinking you, among others, will remember this night for the rest your life....
Wow, Now I really hope the pictures came out well!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha....
sooooooooooooooooo beat.

Going to sleep.
Night bitches.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Prom is so stressful!!!!!!!! And expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of this will be worth it.
All of this will be worth it! :)

I'm still stressed though..........tomorrow is going to be CRAYZAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm most worried about my hair........gah. I'm scared!!!!!!!!!

Ok..... night fools!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

‎"His (Osama bin Laden) demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity." - Our president. ..............hahaha, do I even have to explain why this is funny?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Seriously wondering why I try...............
I know this is all bullshit.
This all feels like bullshit.

Wondering if I should talk about it.... debating if I should ask for help....... don't even know if I want any........

Just have to keep telling myself....
all of this will pass.
all of this will pass.
Soon, all of this pass.
And I will get through all of this shit.
When you're begging for my forgiveness.........I'll try my best to believe it will last.

Friday, April 29, 2011

I hope we didn't break it, but I'm glad we broke the rules.

I got my prom dress tonight! I'm satisfied....
It was expensive, but the feeling of not having to worry about it feels sooooo refreshing!! :)

Screaming to Lower D with Jessica and Yazzy was sooooooooooooooo fun! I was laughing so hard; I think I got the best abdominal workout of my life!!!!!!


Hahahahaha................... tooooooooooo gooooood.

No one said it would be this hard.

Take me back to the start.

Not much to update you on.... this week went by pleasantly fast. I don't want to do homework. Not much is new......
-I need to get my prom dress tomorrow.
-I have Saturday school.
-Have to go treasure hunting soon.

In other news, I'm excited for the weekend. :)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

Spring Break is over. Happy Easter.

Saturday - Sunday = highlight of my spring break.
Cheers to old friends' return and new friends.
I have a good feeling about this...... a really good feeling.
:) :) :) :)

Ugh, I love my friends!!!!!!!!
Happy Easter by the way.. this was probably the weirdest Easter I've ever had....

Homework and procrastination.... didn't even get everything done. Yucks.
1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Home... doing hw. Got back from Sammy's/Juju's :)

2. Who are you in love with?

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

6. Are you wearing socks right now?

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
how far is out of town?

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

10. Are you hot?
when i try

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?

12. What are you wearing right now?
shorts and the reliet k shirt rocky bought me from the paramore show :) gahsh, good times

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
went to car wash with sam today actually....cool

14. Last food that you ate?

15. Where were you yesterday this time?
pulling an all nighter with Andrew..... hahaha everyone else fails

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

17. When is the last time you ran?
DANG......a week ago

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?

19. What is your favorite animal?
a butterfly or pudu

20. Your dream vacation?
europe/tropical island depends on my mood

21. Last person's house you were in?

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
nose fracture....iguesh

23. Have you been in love?
always in love..........sleep

24. Do you miss anyone right now?

25. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

Saturday, April 23, 2011

These past few days have been frustrating.....
Spring break was a let down. =/
I hope tomorrow is awesome, and that I get all my homework done Sunday...

people......too many people.........they're all clones............all the same...

I get to see sammy tomorrow!! :) Should be refreshing..

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What happened to these people is horrible and tragic, but what is even more depressing, is that you have to be an oscar nominated director to get any publication on what's happening in Libya.... children are being murdered out there everyday. These two deaths are little compared to what's been going on, and what's going to continue happening if the bloodsheds in Libya don't stop....

The things happening in Libya are crazy, and yet they're being overlooked and barely publicized (also watered down) by the mainstream media. History is repeating itself, and we're sitting here with our fingers up our asses to afraid to do anything. We are going to be the dumb-asses in our kid's history books, as the people who didn't do anything, if we don't stop pretending nothing wrong is going on there. I know our country is in a delicate situation right now, but really, pretending nothing is going on is hardly the solution....... I'm not saying I have the answers or that I am some political expert, but all I will say is that what we're doing right now, nothing, is bullshit.

post 800

and it's day 2 of spring break.
Went by really fast.....
Today I went to a party and got to catch up with some old friends... :)
Highlights......... cat daddying with diana, messing around with jimmy, chks, kevin playing party in the usa, and dinner talk with asian parents. From tonight I learned that it is not uncommon for Asian parents to consider astrology and birthdays for compatibility regarding who their kids date/marry. I also learned that Brandon's mom is really sweet! She was trying to convince me to marry an asian boy. :) "Let me tell you Michelle, you know Asian boys, they're nice." Hahaha, she's too presh. OH, I also learned that if I go to a small asian / pho place and order my meal in Vietnamese that I'll get a discount. I want to try that.

My hair was crazy voluminous this morning, but as the day went on it deflated and right now it's pretty much back to normal. Def doing it again though... :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

All I need is some anti frizz!

Here's after:

Being a girl

Messing around on my hair.

Sleeping on it like this...... hopefully it'll turn out as something remotely cool. :)
Pictures of how it looks tomorrow.
Night fools.
First day of spring break over.

I am never going to find a prom dress.


1. Song that always makes you sad?:
sister winter - sufjan stevens

2. Last thing you bought?:

3. Last person you argued with?:

4. Do you put Butter before putting the jelly on?:

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?:
omgosh! I was obsessed..... FLOPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Floppy was my favorite....

6. Did you ever own at one time a Nysnc Cd?:

7. Favorite day of the week?:

8. Favorite Sundae topping?:
turtle shell

9. Did you take Piano lessons?:

10. Most frequent song played?:
hm........probably crushed bones

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?:
secretly enjoy....hm....... bad girls club HAHAHAH

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?:

13. Date someone older or younger?:

14. One place you want to travel to right now?:
new york again/colorado/vegas/hawaii/anywhere europe

15. Do you use umbrellas?:
when my friends bring them

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?:

17. Favorite Cheese?:

18. Disturbed or My Chemical Romance?:

19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?:
brunettes... blonds risk blond eyebrows....which scare me

20. Best job you ever had?:

21. did you go to your high school prom?:
im going

22. perfect time to wake up?:
when you feel like it!

23. perfect time to go to bed?:
when you feel like it!!

24. do you use your queen right away in chess? ..:
I don't know how to play chess...

25. Ever been in a car accident?:

26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?:

27. what age is this exciting life over for you?:

28. what decade other than the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?:

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?:
hm...... jessica's boats i had for a while hahaha

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high schoo:

31. Were you in track and field?:
hahaha...long story

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?:
yes!! I did an elvis song in the 1st / 2nd / 3rd grade. Dressed up like him too. I was a tranny?

33. Have you ever written in a library book?:
no... but i write in pen "SAY NO TO THE NWO" in all of my text books

34. Allergic to?:

35. Favorite fruit?:
strawberry / pineapple

36. Have you watched sex and the city?:

37. Baseball hat or toque?:

38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?:

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?:
wet the toothbrush....always!!!!!!

40. Pen or pencil?:

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?:

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?:

43. Have you thrown up in a car?:
YES -___________-

44. Have you thrown up at work?:

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?:
for fun!!! I love roller coasters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

46. Who was your first prom date?:
Martin H. (heeheheehehheheeeee :D )

47. Who was your first roommate?:
I lived with carolina for a week....

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?:

49. What was your first job?:

50. What was your first car?:
it was supposed to be a mustang.... until peeps had to be shady!!!!!!

51. When did you go to your first funeral?:
dont remember.....

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?:
dont know

53. Who was your first grade teacher?:
Mrs. Langer!!! <3

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?:
washington dc/new york

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?:

56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?:
Ariahna!!! and yes I am :)

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?:

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?:
no one....hahaha

59. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsme:
My cousin eric's !!!! I love this survey!!!!!!!! Hahaha

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?:

61. What was the first concert you attended?:
first local was.....i dont even remember the name hahaha dennis's band. first big concert..... uh........ cheetah girls? disney 360 or something like that hahaha

62. First tattoo or piercing?:

63. First celebrity crush?:
hm.........I liked JC from nsync... hahahaaha

Monday, April 18, 2011

do you ever ask yourself

Why you only look hot when its 2 in the morning you are all by yourself?

because I am asking myself that question right now....

wrote this a couple nights ago.... after taking my hair out and glasses off
its not done

You'll say yours and I'll say mine
and we'll go on, pretending it's all fine
a shot for two,
a nickle for a dime,
read more than the daily crime,
reside and resign,
for the people this time,
get it right,
get it right,
take a turn,
you just might
live it and pivot,
make a move,
get with it,
be seen, be free,
be alive and rewind,
for the people this time.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

because i want to talk and no one is awake

2. What is your favorite possession?
cell phone / xbox360 / shoes

3. Do you own a gun?

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?

5. Do you get nervous before doctors appointments?

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
baseball games and the 2 dollar theaters who sell them for a dollar each

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
whos your daddy

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

9. Can you do push ups?
I can do 8......real ones anyway...

10. Is your bathroom clean?

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
mm... i wear a few bracelets

12. Do you take painkillers?

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
charm and smelling good

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
havent been tested

15. Still have a birthmark?
yesh on the back of my neck

16. What are you doing tonight?
went to martin's...we played marvel vs. capcom, watched the professional, made smores, and then wrestled.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. why is everyone asleep
2. i hope i finish all my homework
3. i wonder how things are going to pan out

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
I cant even remember the last three....

19. Name 3 things you drink regularly:
water / soda / juice

20. Are you on a diet?

22. Current worry: the worlds going to end before i have a real chance to live

23. Current hate: low blood sugar... i havent eaten anything substantial today

24.Favorite place to be: disneyland

25. How did you bring in the New Year?

26. Where would you like to go? europe and a tropical island somewhere

27. Why do you wanna go there? exploration and enjoyment

28. What shirt are you wearing?

29. What is your current relationship status?
30. Favorite color(s)?
green, forest green.

31. Would you be a pirate?no
32. Are you gay?no
33. Do you sing in the shower?
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
35. What's in your pockets right now?
no pockets
36. What are you going to do after this?
hopefully sleep
37. Who do you want to be with right now?
carolina :(
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
maybe getting a fractured nose..... it actually didnt hurt that bad though.... just sounds like the worst
39. Best feeling in the world?
not having to worry about anything
40. Worst feeling in the world?
having to worry about something
41. Who is your loudest friend?
42. Who is your quietest friend?
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
44 Do you wish on shooting stars?
no. I dont believe in wishes or luck.
45. What is your favorite food?
whatevers good at the time is my favorite
46. What is your favorite candy?
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
i am awesome, and now that i married you, you are awesome too kinda song
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
sucks you died, you were awesome, kinda song
49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
watching a movie with my mum
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
whether or not i was going to the rugby game

have you ever made out with 2 different people in one night?:

ever thought your cousin was hot?:
all my cousins are hot....well most of them

have you ever stolen money from a friend?:

have you ever been arrested?:

have you ever forgotten someone's name?:

Do you wear contacts?:

Have you ever fired a gun?:

Have you ever had a dream about your best friend?:

Have you ever had a dream about your boss?:

Who was the last person that slept beside you?:
probably jessica

Last person that made you cry?:
no one can MAKE me do anything

Last person you got in a fight with?:
mi madre

Your worst enemy?:

Where is your favorite place to be?:

Name two people you miss really badly
carolina and sam

What was the last thing you highlighted?:

What color is your bedroom?:

Eye color?:


What color underwear are you wearing right now?:

Favorite Holiday?:
every holiday

Dogs or cats?:

Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?:

Best Friend?:
jessica, carolina, sam, martin, julio, linda,

At school, who do you trust the most?:

At home, who is the messiest?:

what CD is closed to you right now?:
sugar ray's

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?:

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?:
water / old veggies / left overs

What music do you listen to the most?:
all music i listen to the most

On a scale of 1-5 how organized are you?:

What was your best subject in school?:

Do you smoke?:

Ever been in a physical fight?:

Ever worn your pajamas to places other than your house?:

Name 5 of the most important things in your life.
friends, writing, sleeping, learning, and family

Are you a morning person?:

Ever had surgery?:

Something or someone you miss the most from childhood.

Ususally late, early or right on time?:

Coke or Pepsi?:

Do you have a best friend?:

Have you ever stolen anything?:

Have you ever cheated on someone?:

How often do you use four letter words?:

Have you ever taken candy from a child?:

Would you rather do the dishes or clean the bedroom?:
clean the bedroom.. touching dank food scares me

Would you rather be caught stealing or cheating?:

Have you ever "hooked up" with a friend?:

Do you fight with your friends?:

Which of your friends is the bossiest?:

Do you love any of your friends?:

How did you get your name?:
how did you get yours?

A memory you won't forget
go kart world weekend.....

Do you have a good personality?:
i think so

What kind of friend are you?:
im a good friend!

Do you believe that love is forever?:

Do you get hurt by people easily?:

Does ice cream make you happy?:

Have you ever cried watching a movie?:

mitch, michelita, mickbrutal

Do you like thunderstorms?:

Whats the first thing you think in the morning?:
i dont want to go to school

How would your mother describe you?:

What is something you don't want to live without?:
a voice and freewill

At school, what occupies your mind the most?:
getting home

How many shower curtains do you have?:
what kind of question is this?

Have you ever lived alone?:

How long is your lunch break?:
not long enough

Do you make good choices?:
not always

Blizzard or Frosty?:

Do you put off doing things because you are afraid of what will happen?:
not usually

Do you forgive and forget, or just forgive?:
forgive, unless i really just forget

Are you shy or outgoing?:

Would you rather run a mile or be beaten up?:
hahaha run a mile

Can you whistle?:

Who makes you laugh the most?:

Have you ever cried like a baby when someone died?:

Who was your first love?:

Ever wanted something you can't have?:
yes.....shit's frustrating as fuuuuuuu

Thursday, April 14, 2011

People amaze me.

Tonight was a lot of fun!!!!!!!!!
I love being young and alive.
Mr. Westminster and the Talent show rocked it tonight!!!!!!!!!


Trying to take nothing for granted right now.
Who knows how long I'll have what I have. I've learned my lesson with not appreciating everything I'm given, including the amazing people I'm blessed to have in my life right now. I just want to let everyone know how much they mean to me!

Life is good.
We are good.
Everything is good.
I am happy.

I bring this upon myself.

I'm going to be tired tomorrow.
Not even satisfied..... whatever.


I feel like there's never enough time in the day to everything I need to do...

I miss people.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Monday, April 11, 2011

It's not fun when I get everything I want this easily....

I like to work for things.
I like being proven wrong.
I like when someone can beat me in an argument every once in awhile....
it's not a game when there's no competition.
"The influence of a vital person vitalizes, there's no doubt about it. The world without spirit is a wasteland. People have the notion of saving the world by shifting things around, changing the rules, and who's on top, and so forth. No, no! Any world is a valid world if it's alive. The thing to do is to bring life to it, and the only way to do that is to find in your own case where the life is and become alive yourself."

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I most likely fractured my nose this morning playing rugby. We won 80 - 7. I have to go in for xrays soon. -.- I'm just happy it's not misplaced, and I don't look like owen wilson.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm going to prom with Martin Hernandez and you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorryology.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I wanna speak at an intimate decibel with the precision of an infinite decimal, to listen up and send back a true echo of something forever felt but never heard. I want that sharpened steel of truth in every word.

I live with children.

This must be bad considering that I'm the youngest one here....

One day without shoes

and I've found:

Shoes are one of the greatest things I've ever been able to call a privilege.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

After having to do one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do before..... all I'm thinking is.......

I wish I were a bear so I could hibernate, and not have to deal with anything.
Someone be me for a few days, I need a break.
I can't handle this shit.
I feel like shit.
This is shit.

Wrote this with a melody in mind (i felt a little spit rhyme influence(d) tonight)

Its nights like these, you see me at my worst.
Its nights like these, you see me at my best.
Its nights like these I can't break free. Creativity, kicks to me the left. Possibilities, keep me to the right.
I'm down on my knees, looking for the light.
Got it down and we, still never get it right.
Insecurities, are never what's right.
Wasted time and mainstream hype.
Give it to me fast, and I'll take it light.
Want another round?
I'm puttin up a fight.

Friday, April 1, 2011

So this is what it feels like to live a lie....

and I've never felt worse.
If I told you what I was feeling you wouldn't like the answer.
FRUSTRATION AT ITS FUCKING ROOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greatest turn off of the year.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


Conform, and be conformed.
Conform, and be conformed.
Conform, conform.
The goverentment's mission statement.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011

Sunday, March 27, 2011

OVHS's dance could have been so much more!! =/
Myeh whatever..... Can't wait to compare to fv's sadies :)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 1 - A picture of yourself without any makeup.

I did one better....here's a picture of me completely raw.[hair drying weird, smudgy undereyes, acne, 'end of the day' look ] You may call it unattractive or beat.... I call it real. :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

I melt like liquid between the cracks

live in your youth.
be you.
be now.
be alive.
be young.
be free.
be. now.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

When I see you, I really see you upside down, but my brain knows better.... it picks you up and turns you round.

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
Check your shit, before I check your shit doc.

2. Do you trust all of your friends?

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I would move for the adventure if I felt like it...

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Everything except the milk spilling and the shirt stains

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?

6. Describe your exboyfriend?

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
afraid of falling out of love, falling in love is the easy part.. Having to worry about feelings, other than your own, is the scary shit.

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?

10. Whats your most favorite scar?
knuckle scar. Hands. down.

11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
Hm.... Last april. Last spring break. Almost exactly a year ago...

12. Any irrational fears?
..........no, but i do get paranoid sometimes

13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Eyes. Smile. Style. Swag. Charm. Sexy factor.

14. Fill in the blank. I love:

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Accomplishing a goal. (heh...i had to)

16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?

17. How many kids do you want to have?

18. Would you make a good parent?
if i dont have a girl..

19. Where was your default picture taken?
hahahha this is myspace homies

20. Whats your middle name?

21. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
Honestly? I want to know where my chapstick is...

22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Going back and saying thank you to everyone I took for granted. Fuck.... YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU LOSE IT.

23. Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
jessica / carolina / sam

24. What are you wearing right now?
basketball shorts and a tank top.

25. Righty or Lefty?
wheres the question?

26. Best place to eat?

27. Favorite jeans?
black highrise

28. Favorite animal?

29. Favorite juice?

30. Have you had the chicken pox?

31. Have you had a sore throat?

32. Ever had a bar fight?
I haven’t.

33. Who knows you the best?

34. Shoe size?

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?

36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Yes...sassy, you're a bitch

37. Been to Mexico?

38. Did you buy something today?
I didn’t.

39. Did you get sick today?

40. Do you miss someone today?

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?

42. When is the last time you had a massage?
Way too long ago.

43. Last person to lay in your bed?
jessica / dominic / me / martin.... playing robot unicorn

44. Last person to see you cry?
hm........... jessica / oscar

45. Who made you cry?
no one can make me do anything

46. What was the last TV show you watched?
Modern family!! <3

47. What are your plans for the weekend?
hm...... we'll see

48. Who do you think will repost this?
no one

49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
lets see....carlos, jessy, dominic, calvin, and martin came over for videogames today

50. Do you want any tatoos?
Yes!!!!!! What I want to get right now, (all small and in specific places) a butterfly tattoo, infinite sign, and a cross

So I know this may not solve anything but....

Flicking someone off and mouthing, "Fuck, You." when they look away after saying something you don't like or something bitchy, (while it may not solve anything) sure does make you feel a hell of a lot better... and if you do it right, they'll never know! Way better than starting an argument over little things in my opinion... Is it bad that I consider this a healthy way of releasing some frustration?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fudge man...........

So much drama..... just soooooo much drama

Monday, March 7, 2011

Saturday, March 5, 2011

in shock

Overwhelming emotions running through my whole body.....................

Have you ever been so happy you can't contain it?
Feel it in your stomach.....feel it in your toes..........
can't think straight.

Right now.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Sometimes I wish I knew, but I don't know....

Good morning.
Good night.

Good day.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Sadies was awesome................ All that work paid off!!!

Yay for new hotties


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Starting on homework.... now.

Losing myself.
Losing culture.
Losing time.
Losing soul.

Losing my ability to give a shit about it all.......
Tomorrow should be fun. Hope the costume works out. I'm dressing up as Padme from star wars... Pictures up later.
My night not even in a nutshell....
My night in a shell.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I love trigonometry too!!!!!!!!!! It's so weird because I hate all other types of math; trig I don't mind doing...

Just finished studying for my test tomorrow...
Going to shower and then go to sleep.
I don't think I'm going to do half bad tomorrow.....

Recap: (personal reminder)
Friday - Java night
Sat - glasses / cookies / rainstorm & walmart / sam's [never let me go]
Sun - woke up late / juju's / lame / story / fun / sam's pt 2
Mon - woke up late / deuces / hw / dinner w/ homies / b&n / hw / sleep