Monday, November 29, 2010

I feel accomplished.
I completed a satisfactory amount of my homework (past and present), so I'm going to bed happy knowing that I have late start tomorrow.
I hope that everyone had an exhilarating and awesome and memorable and fulfilling break.
I miss holiday projects and essays they used to make you write, oh and the arts and crafts presents we used to always make for our parents for mother's/father's day, and those presents would always save us, because we didn't own a calendar when we were that young.... and now we're too busy to remember. That's why I miss holiday arts and crafts most. I was inspired because I was reading some of my friend's thanksgiving speechs, what they were thankful for and all of that....

I plain and simply am thankful to be able to learn each and everyday I live on this earth, whether it be subconsciously or consciously. I am thankful for the opportunity that comes with each daybreak. I may not agree with a lot of the choices our government makes, or a lot of the choices our mainstream america influences us to make, but regardless, to be free in the sense, I am able to have this blog, and have the ability and education to speak my mind is an ability many others aren't as lucky to withold. I am thankful for everyone who contributes(ed) to my life in any shape or form, and I blindly, but modestly apologize if I do not treat any one of you how you should be treated. Whether you know it, or whether I know it sometimes, I love you. I love you. And I love you.

The end. Goodnight.

Reminder to all (especially me): Try not to stress too much... A) School is important, but you know you're going to pass, so don't worry to much about it... B) There will be many more hot single boys in college. C)You're a teenager. You need your sleep, so go ahead and sleep in until the pms sometimes.. Oh, and you need more calories than adults to function, eat the cookie... D) You'll get your chance. May not be tomorrow, or this year, but you will get your chance. There is no need to be jealous.


Sometimes you have to sit down and talk some sense into yourself.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Today was all Work. Today was my first whole day of break. Felt good.
I was the first to wish you happy birthday in my book. Just sayin.

Diana you were the biggest help hands down. Love you booboo.
We may not be the best dancers but at least we try. Yeeeeeeeeee.
<3

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

"While friendship has been by far the chief source of my happiness, acquaintance or general society has always meant little to me, and I cannot quite understand why a man should wish to know more people than he can make real friends of."


- C. S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy

At least we leave here together

I don't tell people anything.
Keeps things uncomplicated.
I like when I find someone new or just someone that knows how to talk.
Keeps my mind off things.


You should never travel alone.
One false step and you might not make it home.




People are coming over tomorrow for the skit.
Haven't cleaned. Crunch time tomorrow morning. :)
Thug life.
I love to live life on the edge.


I think I'm realizing how much I don't think this play is ready to go on.
Jesus be with us.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Islands Disappear


I'm just glad it's break.
Definitely excited for a newfound band that has potential.
Pumped.
Already burned a CD... :)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

raw(forgive me) from my notebook


I don't pay attention to the weather anymore.
I keep my legs moving, and try not to fall asleep.
I grip my pencil too hard, and push with all my might.
I've warned lovers before.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
Because I push when it's already been pushed.
I keep your reminder at my nose.
It keeps my eyes from becoming closed and
I wish we were all equal here.
And I hear the thunder,
and I feel the lighting,
but I can't remember the day it all became noise.
It all became static when I stopped paying attention in class.
Or maybe because I realized my goals don't involve math class.
I say rain when it's only a drizzle; because
I listen to Why? instead of Y-G,
and I don't cry,
I shed tears.
And I keep my heart on the loose,
but my feelings on lock.
And I've knocked on the wrong doors,
hoping they were the right one.
Couldn't find one,
So I wrote one.
Live like it's your last day, but
be someone you want to know because life means nothing without love.
But it seems these days all I want to do is sleep and play.
Sleep and play.
If only I could remember the day it all became noise.

Monday, November 15, 2010

homecoming dress


for the peeps who didnt go i know some yall wanted to see it

Sunday, November 14, 2010


1. What was the highlight of your week?
Call of duty with jessica and oscar...maybe getting more kills then him

2. Whose car were you in last?
Jaynees

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
Soon enough

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
rockys old volcom shirt

5. How long is your hair?
little longer than shoulder length.. growing it out ; I'm excited :)

6. Are you good looking?
I'm not ugly

7. Last movie you watched?
Knott... something with julia roberts

8. Who were you with?
Jaynee Jessica and my mom

9. Last thing you ate?
subway

10. Last thing you drank?
generic rootbeer

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?


12. Who came over last?
jaynee/jessica

13. Are you happy right now?
myeh

14. What did you say last?
I've just been laughing by myself for a while now oh... "What?!" at a couple pictures

15. Where is your phone?
who cares

16. What color are your eyes?
brown

17. Are you left-handed?
no

18. Spell your name without vowels: no

19. Do you have any pets?
2

20. Favorite Vacation?
Any vacation

21. What do you dislike currently?
homework and having to wait

22. What are you listening to?
ryan leslie

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
freedom

24. What is your favorite scent?
daisy by marc

25. Who makes you happiest?
any charming/aesthetically appealing/smells good boy

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
talking to jessica and oscar

27. When is your birthday?
may 22

28. Who has the same phone as you?
who cares

29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
too long

30. Do you read your horoscope?
I actually read one today after not in a long time... I don't believe in horoscopes though

31. Where was the last place you bought something?
who cares

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
the longer it gets, the happier

33. Do you bite your nails?
no

34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
no
35. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
36. Myspace or facebook?
whats myspace?

37. How fast have you driven a car?
not very fast... the emergency break was down

38. Have you ever smoked?
no
39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
english because of writing

40. Do you have Verizon?
for tv

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
-charming
-taller than me
-hot
-interesting
-smart
-confident
-smell good
-funny
-fun

42. Do you have any hidden talents?
nope

43. Favorite Song?


44. Do you like to sing at all?
for fun

45. Dream Job?
director of film / creative writing teacher / not having to have a "job"

46. Where does most of your family live?
the states

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
mary

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
yes

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
what time is it

50. Do you drink?
water...yes

51. Know any other languages?
nope I suck

52. Ever write a coded message?
yes and yes

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
no and no... have I ever been to a wedding?

54. Do you have any children?
no

55. Did you take a nap today?
myeh

56. Who has the same birthday as you?
christine

57. Ever met anyone famous before?
yez

58. Do you want to be famous one day?
nozrelz

59. Any Pet Peeves?
excuses and lack of creativity and medicine and lies and shady business and janky friends

60. Are you multitasking right now?
no

61. Do you like Britany Spears?
opps i did it again

62. What is your least favorite chore?


63. Last place you drove your car?
64. Ever been out of the country?
mexico

65. Where were you born?
southern california actually isnt that bad

66. Could you handle being in the military?
heck no

67. What is your average cell phone bill?
68. Who are you thinking about right now?
the homework I'm not going to want to do tomorrow and if I turned my xbox off or not

69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
watching jessicas video a few hours ago

70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
dont have time to do things like count my shoes

71. Are your toes always painted?
painted them today

72. How many piercings do you have?
ears

73. What are you doing today?
homework sleep call of duty eat shower plan pray

74. Have you ever been gambling?
haha
75. When is the last time you updated your page?
76. Do you like rollercoasters?
Can't get enough of em; I always single rider california screamin

77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
Disneyland. Always.

78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
no
79. Last thing you cooked?
no
80. How's the weather?
no
81. Do you e-mail?
no
82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
hahahaha
83. Last time you were sick?
no... I don't take medicine
84. What states have you lived in?
just 1
85. Do you wish you could move?
maybe a different country

87. What is your dream car?
classic mustang but I wouldnt mind driving the old crv, the old range rovers, or even a cute little black volvo 240

88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
If I wanted someone I could have....

89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
summer in somewhere nice with them wanted peeps

90. Are you happy with your life?
could be worse

Someone go get me something to drink.
Someone go do my homework.
Someone go memorize my lines.
Someone go run off the sandwich I'm eating.
Someone go research how much I need to study if I want to be accepted to NYU.
Someone go find my xbox games in those pile of xboxes.
Someone explain to me why I find nothing significant.

Greatest fear? Childbirth.
Greatest problems?
Lack of motivation.
Lack of sympathy.... for anyone.
Lack of patience.

So what do you care about these days?
Hot boys.
Beating a special op on Veteran.
Weekends.
Sleep.
Good food.
Real friends.
Jesus.
Freedom.


I bottle my emotions. I don't try to. Just how I work.
Impress.
Impressed.
Impressions.

This is for the forgotten.
The parents of the pregnant daughter.
The teachers of the genius.
The mother of the infamous terrorist.
The vets who have to put down the pets.
The great grandmas and great grandpas.
The middle aged people.
The janitors.
The mailmen.
The editors.
The football game announcers.
The funeral home hearse drivers.
The plumbers and cable installers.
The 911 dispatchers.

.. .... more to come I've got things to do.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I don't know where I would be if I didn't have friends and their shoulders to catch my tears.





"Do you get scared?"
"No."
"You weren't scared tonight?"
"No."


Being able to hide nothing from someone is a beautiful thing. Being raw is a beautiful thing. Being transparent and exposed completely is a beautiful thing. Being able not to worry about what another will think of you if you break down is a beautiful thing.
If I can say one thing honestly its that I'm worry free. Not literally, but respectively, and big picture wise, I am worry free. Not sure why, just am...














"I'm just glad it's over."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Didn't get much accomplished as far as homework. And as far as tomorrow goes all I'm going to be working on is my essay/ap card. I'll have to make up all the late crap later. I've decided I want to major in creative writing. Maybe be a creative writing teacher..... maybe write movies....... I'm going to move to New York for a year if anything. Think about researching nyu they've got a good program for creative writing there, and that'd just be amazing. Going to sleep I've got some things to think about. High school ain't anything.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

period 3 on thursday (instead of taking notes)

Girl in the corner doesn't talk.
Just slouches her back.
I turn for reassuring eyes but sometimes miss.
I hit girl in the corner.
Girl in the corner is already looking at me,
girl in the corner turns away fast;
it's too late.
Girl in the corner frightens me.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Not because girl in the corner is suspicious.
I'm afraid that girl in the corner has seen me.

Why do we spend so much time on Math?
Meaningless craft.
Hours you'll never get back.
Might die in a car crash.
Good to know your last hours were spend with math.
Learning about problems you'll never have to crack.

If I can't write numbers in numbers (1 in comparison to one) in math class
I won't write numbers at all.
I live for the weekends.
Tomorrow is going to be stressful.
This weekend is going to be stressful.
Next week is going to be stressful.
And the weekend after this one.
Then the following month.
Then the following 7 months.
But when does the stress stop?
When can I stop trying to catch up to tired?
Summer.
But how about when I don't have summer anymore?
Sit down world.
Life has begun.

Ms. Talks just talks and talks.
I hate when Ms. Talks talks.
Some of the things she says sound like Spanish...
to many "R's".
I look at Jessica to tell her something every 2 seconds.
Ms.Talks notices.
We're laughing about something hard.
Ms.Talks asks if we're okay.
A subtle attempt to tell us to shut up.
Ms. Talks will never know when I sleep behind the kid who I can't understand in front of me.
Ms. Talks will never know when I eat pocky behind the kid I can't understand.
But Ms. Talks will always know when I pass a note to Jessica about the hot boys at are our school.
Really....
She read one once.
I secretly love Ms.Talks.
Just not when Ms.Talks says something to the sort of "check this out".
To bad Ms.Talks will always play by the rules.
Ms. Talks and I would have been good friends...

Friday, November 5, 2010

One of the best nights of my life. I can't even explain it... doesn't feel real yet. Not sure if it ever will.... Being put on a boat with 10 amazing people out of the however many billion there are on this earth. This was meant to be. A night I'll always remember.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I get to see Anis Mojgani tomorrow. This was meant to be Carolina; I know it.....

Monday, November 1, 2010

Feels good to have a home again.