Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I hope this ain't one of those forever things, it's funny how money changes everything.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Sometimes you have to be a rebel.

I refuse. I refuse to let high school English beat the creativity out of my writing. MLA format you will not be the death of me. I promise you that. If it is only this blog that lets me write the way I choose to write....express, so be it. I will not fail. And, (ya thats right bitches I started a sentence with and) over my dead body will I forget my Roots (hell yes I capitalized an improper noun).


That's all I have to say about that.
Everything about blogs are raw.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

And I'm gonna keep it honest;

I'm tired of being subtle.

Date with myself tonight. Doing nothing. With no-one. Refreshing. I do want some water though..

Update on my life:
Today was longest day ever; I went to a speech/debate tournament with a few kids from my school. We found out about it last week. Had no practice. Researched the night before. Now, we did go to have fun, which I did, but student congress is really intimidating when you have nothing solid, when you don't know what you're talking about... Especially when everyone else in the room has been practicing for months. It was also cool being referred to as "Senator Martinez". Really good experience overall! Also really interesting seeing what other people had to say. Over all it was awesome. I also met some extraordinary people as well, some of which will go on to lead our country one day! Guarantee.. What else is new... oh yeah I made the play, so I'm really excited about that. I'm the cook... hehehe. First rehearsal is monday, I have to finish reading the whole script tomorrow, as well as finish my homework, as well as pack, as well as go to game stop, as well as hangout with Julio and hopefully Sammy! One of the biggest things going on with me right now is my living situation. I will be out of the house by ...tuesday night/maybe wes. I don't know where I'm going yet, and I don't know how things are going to pan out. Which means I'll most likely be living in a motel again for a while until we get things settled. Which hopefully won't be long. No, I am not scared. Am I happy about the situation.. no. Do I believe it's the end of the world? No. I am not ashamed of my living conditions, nor will I be of future living conditions. As an adolescent I have come to terms with the fact that some elements in life are out of my hands. As an adolescent I have also collectively found that no matter what it is my job to make the best of whatever I have at the time. Which will always be better than someone else's. I believe I am blessed. Challenges I'll come across over the next few months of my life will ultimately make me a stronger individual. I am not afraid. I am, however, tired...... To wrap things up, I'll keep things short. I miss my friends. I want to go to disneyland. Due to extensive studying, I am caught up in my Spanish class. I've thrown up twice during my zero accelerated pe class, and will probably do it sometime again this week. I have been shivering easier recently. I don't know why... I hope when we go back to motel6 it's hot so I can use the pool.




Uh due to me falling asleep this is the end of update numbero uno.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fear


Nothing keeps me entertained for long enough. I want a boy....just sayin.


I am living in a motel for a few days.. harder than it sounds. Despite everything, despite things I say sometimes, thank you Jesus. I am still thankful, and I am still here. And I am not scared [anymore].



Pray for me. I am happy. I am.
I kind of like school...... I just need my naps.
The end.
Anyone out there?

Monday, September 20, 2010

You know how it be when you start living large. I control my own life; Charles was never in charge.



______________________________

Shit's going down.

Scary

Color Test - Results

Your Existing Situation

Feeling dissatisfied in her current situation and has a strong desire to escape or find an immediate solution.

Your Stress Sources

In the past she was over involved and now emotionally drained.

Your Restrained Characteristics

"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."

"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."

Is satisfied and finds contentment through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective

Lives life to the fullest. Has a high energy level and is always on the go. she is very active and her actions often lead to success.

Your Actual Problem

Is afraid she will be held back from obtaining the things she wants leading her to act out with a hectic intensity.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

hot

talking about knots in my shoulders
Jimmy Le 10:31 pm
(10:31:13 PM): that means your ribosomes are
(10:31:21 PM): reparing the damaged muscle
(10:31:40 PM): by making proteins, amino acid, to stack upon each other

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

hope he likes it

Dear Officer Ryan,
When I first heard about how we had to write a letter about ourselves, my initial reaction was how it was just another assignment I had to find time to finish. I soon came to remember your lesson about heart. I think the least I can do is speak honestly; if I'm going to spend my time writing this I might as well get something out of it. The first thing I want to say is I am not at all perfect in any way, shape, or form, nor do I expect to be. However, I do try. I think part of the fun in life is improving.. I don't think I would enjoy living as much as I do now if I couldn't learn. I don't know where I'm going with this, but I like to color outside the lines when I get the chance to, and this is supposed to be about me right....right. No grading rubric this time! I guess a good transition into some of what I like to do would be how I like to write. I love the freedom. I like how if I have a pencil in my hand, or access to a computer, I can do whatever I want. I write when I'm happy, sad, and in between. I write to blow off steam, but my favorite time to write is when I am inspired. Inspiration is probably one of the most important aspects in my life. Just about anything I am interested in brings me inspiration at the truck loads. I find people the most and easiest source for new ideas. Why people get mad, why some people react the ways they do, how long people hold grudges, why people hangout with the people they do, and why some people are enormously shy, and others are not. I almost never find answers. I do however look at it as a science experiment in where I collect data and come to a conclusion based on the data, which can be proven wrong at any given time. Speaking of science, one thing I have discovered about myself, is how one my other favorite words is exploration. I constantly find myself exploring certain situations, actions, people, ideas, or anything else I admire, or might want to conquer one day myself. I enjoy analyzing something as simple as a movie plot, to the complexities of positivity. I wasn't always a self proclaimed optimist, but that is what I love most. "Life is a constant work in progress, and I wouldn't have it any other way", some of my favorite lyrics ever, which brings me to another element in my life...music. I'm not the most musically talented person, but I do love the insides and outs of the art. I love the real factor embedded into it. I love the underlying meanings just waiting to be plunged into. Everything. One always familiar, and somewhat always there, but relatively recent part of my life is God. Jesus has helped me through, up, and around barriers I would never be able to cross alone. He was there when no one else was. I have been blessed enough to where His existence has been proven to me to the point where it is so tangible now, I could never question Him or doubt Him again. According to Matthew, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." To close, I should say even though I didn't include everything I like to do on my free time, I hope you were able to have a more accurate perception of who I am as a person.
Your pal, Michelle Martinez
PS: Thanks for all your graciously given, and crucially needed guidance!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Psalms, 37: 39-40

"The salvation of the just is from the Lord,
their refuge in time of distress.
The Lord helps and rescues them,
rescues and saves them from the wicked,
because in God they take refuge."

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Can't sleep

1. What is more difficult: looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel?
Telling

2. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry?
I don't remember..

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?
I'd spend it praying for forgiveness honestly.. sorry errbody

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
I'd ...too shallow

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love.
love

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time youre fired. Do you save the dog? Heck yes I'd save the dog!!!

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
I wouldn't now; the reason I wouldn't now is because I have before.

8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it? 1 hour..
That'd hurt them and everyone they knew twice as much. No, I wouldn't.

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yes.

10. Does sex=love?
No.

11. Are you old fashioned?
I like vintage yes hahaha

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?
Depends

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
Do not

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
Freedom

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
hah

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?
I actually had to think about that one..

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
I don't believe in wishes

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Yes

19. You are holding onto your grandmother's dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?
I'd throw the baby over my shoulder, to safety, and then save my grandma. Done.

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
Today

If You had three months to live:

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?
Yes I would

22. What do you do with your remaining days?
Everything.

23. Would you be afraid?
At first

Whats your favorite season?
Summer/Winter. I like the boldness of them both. Those are the only seasons anyone remembers anyway..

How do you want to be remembered after you die?
How I deserve to be remembered..

What's the main thing you want right now?
hot boys, a place to live in a month, a shower, my homework to be done, to be able to wake up early easily

What three things couldn't you live without if you were stranded on a desert island?
people, food, running water

What's your favorite type of weather?
Being cold > being hot

Has anyone hurt you recently? If so who?
Mary punched me a few weeks ago

Do you like to read?
No

What kind of books do you like to read?
Interesting, hidden meaning type of books

Favorite Authors?

Favorite books?

Are you a night person or a morning person?
Night.

What is your perfect paradise?

What country or countries would you like to visit?
Ireland, England, France, somewhere tropical..

Are you happy with the way our country is run?
HAHAHAHAHHA....good one

Do you believe in literal good and evil?
is there any other kind?

Do you swear?
I try not too

Do you believe in the supernatural?
super natural

Favorite stores to shop at?


What's your favorite holiday?
Christmas... all of them

What's your favorite month?
July

What do you do when your stressed and need to unwind?
Sleep.

1. What was the highlight of your week?

2. Whose car were you in last?
jessicas moms

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
you tell me

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
red

5. How long is your hair?
medium/short

6. Are you good looking?
When I want to be; I don't think I'm ugly.

7. Last movie you watched?
killers

8. Who were you with?
m/c/j/m

9. Last thing you ate?
special k

10. Last thing you drank?
root beer

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?


12. Who came over last?
j/c

13. Are you happy right now?
not sad

14. What did you say last?
I laughed last..

15. Where is your phone?
broken

16. What color are your eyes?
brown

17. Are you left-handed?
nope

18. Spell your name without vowels:
mchll

19. Do you have any pets?
Brandy and Sassy

20. Favorite Vacation?
vmoney

21. What do you dislike currently?
homework/stress/knowing things are going to get turned upside down soon

22. What are you listening to?
silence. I cant wake up anyone

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
boy(s)

24. What is your favorite scent?
daisy -marc jacobs

25. What makes you happiest?
hotboys

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
this

27. When is your birthday?
may 22

28. Who has the same phone as you?


29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
too long

30. Do you read your horoscope?
no

31. Where was the last place you bought something?
dr

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
its hard to handle but I'm ready for long hair

33. Do you bite your nails?
no

34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
no

36. Myspace or facebook?
What's myspace?

37. How fast have you driven a car?
the emergency break was up

38. Have you ever smoked?
No.

39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
English (Writing)

40. Do you have Verizon?
no

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
Sweet. Hot. Smart. Smell good. Charming. Confident. Original.

42. Do you have any hidden talents?
I wouldnt hide something like a talent

43. Favorite Song?
arent we all running? -65dos

44. Do you like to sing at all?
just for fun

45. Dream Job?
movie director

46. Where does most of your family live?
cali

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
1 - mary

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
I dont smell

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
Do I have to wake up yet?

50. Do you drink?
Water

51. Know any other languages?
Learning

52. Ever write a coded message?
Hahahahahaha... I was involved in making one up

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
nope

54. Do you have any children?
No

55. Did you take a nap today?
psh..yes

56. Who has the same birthday as you?
christine le

57. Ever met anyone famous before?
yes

58. Do you want to be famous one day?
myeh

59. Any Pet Peeves?
Mean people

60. Are you multitasking right now?
No

61. Do you like Britany Spears?
I like that Linda likes her

62. What is your least favorite chore?
63. Last place you drove your car?


64. Ever been out of the country?
Mexico.

65. Where were you born?
sc

66. Could you handle being in the military?
No

67. What is your average cell phone bill?
I'm lucky enough not to pay my own bills yet

68. Who are you thinking about right now?
69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
the other day

70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
I dont take time doing those kinds of things

71. Are your toes always painted?
yes

72. How many piercings do you have?
ears

73. What are you doing today?
Sunday.. homework/church/call of duty/food/sleep

74. Have you ever been gambling?
illegally

75. When is the last time you updated your page?
what page

76. Do you like rollercoasters?
LOVE them

77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
LAND

78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
79. Last thing you cooked?
80. Hows the weather?
81. Do you e-mail?
82. Whats the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
buy it

83. Last time you were sick?
I'm healthy 98% of the time

84. What states have you lived in?
california

85. Do you wish you could move?
I dont have to wish. I'll be out of my house by the 24th of this month.

87. What is your dream car?
classic mustang

88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
Always. hahaha just kidding

89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
:)

90. Are you happy with your life?
It's the only one I have, and it's to short to be anything but.

Friday, September 10, 2010

If you get hurt in a game, there is a player in seconds after you, ready to go. Your replacement. The team keeps playing. Now that you are useless, you are not important anymore..


The clock might stop, but time does not.
Get over yourself. Appreciate what you have because in minutes, years, it can all be taken away from you. Someone will always look better than you. Someone will always be smarter than you. Someone will always finish before you. Someone will always be better than you.
___

I am so thankful.
A tooth hurts when I chew gum on the right side of my mouth.
Where do I chew?
The right side of my mouth.
Why?





.........Answer TBA?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Everything else falls through the cracks..

School is tiring. I'm sore.

Routine:
School.
Home.
Eat.
Nap.
Eat.
Homework.
Shower.
Sleep.
Repeat.

Must complete.....shower.
Anyone else feel like a robot sometimes?
If you're going to be a robot, at least be a positive one.. hahaha





We our all products of something.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Fake people and unnecessary arguments.
I am over this.
I have been over this for a long time...







Annoying.

"Confidence is that inner voice that says you’re becoming what you’re capable of. Confidence is sexy."

Think back to June, were you in a relationship?
No

What are you listening to?
Was... Maroon 5 - sun

Do you trust all your friends?
Not completely

Did you like anyone last summer?
You could say that

How is your life lately?
Effing great

Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
I'd like a jacket...for comfort; its cold

Something you’re looking forward to in the next month:
Weekends. Sleep. Weekends. Friends. Boys. Hot boys. Cold weather. Hot boys.

How often do you hold back what you want to say?
Not very often

Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
Yes

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with?
Mmm.... not that I can think of :)

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I don’t know anything

Would you ever get a tattoo?
One of these days..

When you say you don’t care, do you mean it?
Why wouldn’t I

Do you know anyone who has messed up your life?
No one has the ability to do that to me..

If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor?
Carolina

What happened at 9:00 am today?
Dreams happened. Sweet, sweet dreams..

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
No one knows me that well. Not even me. Not yet.

Do you dislike anyone right now or recently?
No. :)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Happy.

Do you want to get married?
Yes, I want to get married.

What makes you happiest?
Adventures and people who join me along the way. When the people I am proud of, become proud of me. Progress. Being worry free.

Do you regret anything? If you could go back and change something would you? If so, what? I do not believe in looking back.

Where do you want to live when you grow up?
I want to live with someone I love so much, it won't matter where we live.

michelle martinez
Intelligent, emotionally stable, or good looking.
Pick two.
Which would you choose?
Jimmy Le
Not gay
michelle martinez
I'd choose intelligent and good looking
because I could use the two
to get the third.
If I even want the third...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Strong Vibes...

"All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you."

Good Vibes.
We are all so much more than the eye misleads us to be.

Never Rush

All our heads filled with secrets, biting our tongues every step we take. We all walk on eggshells, not bringing this up, because it might bring that up.. We are all thinking five steps ahead, and sometimes we are both thinking what neither of us want to say, but the chance that one of us could be wrong, we keep our mouths shut. Too many factors running around in our minds, trying to organize it all, not being fast enough... We lose the things that actually matter. Who died when? Whos birthday is it tomorrow? Did I do this? Did I finish that? I don't remember.... Why do you think we remember all the "little" things? We remember all the "little" things because that is all we have room to fit.



















(I forgot my Science book in Spanish Class)

Friday, September 3, 2010

Day 3

Tiring.
Nothing special...

Oh wait, hot boy(s). Yes.....
A sight so scarce at my school to be honest.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day 2

I like my schedule, besides maybe one or two classes..
Tired again.
I want something.
........................nap time? Nap time.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

First Day - Mission Successful.

Home from the first day of the school year. I am over all happy with what I have found; could be better, could always be better.. All I know is I am going to have long days for the whole year. School is going to kick my butt until I get used to things.




I am tired.
................Nap time?