Monday, March 30, 2009

I caught fire,

I feel like shit.
It just reminds me how much I like health.
It also reminds me how much I love sleep.
I think I got worse as the day went on.
I don't care though, I'm going to school tomorrow, can't miss my first dissection!
I'm soooooooo excited.
My cheeks are flushed, I have a fever, I'm hot and cold at the same time, I feel dizzy every time I stand up, I don't feel like doing anything, my intestines are in the pits, my nausea has picked up, and I still have to do reading counts.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Some one save me!
At least I have Greek in ten minutes.
Then I'll force myself to do Reading Counts.
Then I'll shower.
Then bed.
I wish I could just go to school for 6th period.
I hope I don't throw up tomorrow.
Urg,
Oh! yeah I almost fainted a couple times with Mary as my witness,
ahaha that was funny.
You know what else is funny Mares, our recreation of that prank, that was funny.
Dude being sick sucks but I kind of liked our bonding.
=)
I love you man.
I heard that was a good movie.
"Dingermingbobs"
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my gosh
I want to see UP the most:::::
I have a feeling that is going to be my favorite movie!

Looking forward to it SO much.
_____
I missed Greek because I was doing Reading Counts "on the commercials".
I wrote a long ass summary but now I'm happy.
Happy kinda that I finished.
Still sick.
Now adding shaky to the list.
I hope this week goes buy super quick, and next week.
So spring break has permission to go by super slow.
Yipyees all around.
Dang only 72 days left of school.
What the freak I love this year so much!!!
So easy!!!
Please don't end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so ready for Summer though.
YA,YAY!
Whoa I am so not thinking clearly at all.
Not at all.
I love sleep.
I love sleep.
I love sleep.
=))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


















Excuse me while I go throw up..

Sunday, March 29, 2009

See you in the club

Today went by very quickly.
This weekend went by quickly actually.
I'm not excited for school.
Ugh,
I'll be good after spring break I think.
Today was fun.
That stadium dog was nasty.
Rocky's church's atmosphere was actually kind of chill, I liked it.
I think one of perks to it was the cute little town block type thing it was in.
I learned how to play Texas Hold em`, kinda..
Julio's house is very clean from the looks of it, and I didn't know he had a dog until I noticed a head sticking out of the doggie door.
Oh yeah, reminder, Christine actually lives fairly close to me.
Yesterday was stupid.
I asked my self why I even came.
I think the coolest part was Ariahna forgetting her sweatshirt, or bleeding.
It just makes me SO FREAKING MAD HOW I CAN BE IN RUGBY SO MUCH MORE THAN OTHERS ON MY TEAM AND FRESAKJSDLFKJASDLFJ ASLETHJ ALGJLHG L,D BJAKJR TVANOIERT4P IKVM[APOI DF JKGHL;JFGL;KJASLFDKJGLJKSDLGKJHGLHJS,MBNXNCGLJAPWEOPRITPOAUI RYOAJLSDFKG!!!!
Ya know?
I don't want to be part of something that isn't a whole.
I miss our unity.
='(

I think I heal fast, yeah, I do.
I took in more calories today then last year put together.
At least it felt that way.
When really I ate less then usual.

Overall mood: Content
Overall feeling: Happy
Current Annoyance: nausea
Just remembered: Jessica has OCD.
Just remembered: I'm broke.
Just remembered: Reading Counts suck.
Just remembered: Don't try controlling things you know are out of your hands. Trust.


















Excuse me while I go throw up..

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Hey,

Bloody nose.
Bloody lip.
Tied together with a win,
and it's all good.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Venting,

This is where the shit's going to hit the fan,
I hate worries.
Money is going to become an issue, soon.
You are so fucking stupid.
You were to fucking stupid to get a fucking job so now we have to deal with you're fucking consequences.
You blame it on everyone else.
You say there's nothing you can do about it now.
Good luck trying to get jobs now.
If you don't want us to think you're worthless, don't be worthless.
It's not my fault you're broke.
It's not my fault you can't control you your anger.
It's not my fault you can't get your life together.
You've made so many mistakes, so many.
You fucked up and now we're going to have to deal.
I'm so sick of this shit happening.
And not it's too late.
Where do we go from here?
I have not been this confused and worried in my entire life.
I can't even be sad right now.
If I lose it, that'll be it.
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS.
I'M DONE.
I DON'T CARE.
No one knows about this and no one will fully understand.
I feel like curling up and crying, but I won't, I'll just take a nap.
I wonder how long we'll have our phones, how long we'll have the internet.
I wonder what I'll do then.
I hate to sound so high maintenance, but sometimes that's how I stay sane.
I guess I could turn to reading.
When you have a bad day, everyone else has to have one too.
Fuck that..
I have never been so disappointed in someone!
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Don't act so surprised that money is gone.
We all knew it wouldn't last forever.
I just wish...........
I don't feel like doing anything right now, except sleep.
I don't want to be home right now, but I am.
I don't want to do my homework, but I will.
I don't want to deal with this, but I don't have a choice.
I don't to want to know some the fucked up shit I know, but I do.
Every time you tell me something I just want to scream, "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! JUST LET ME BE A KID."
Your front is grade A let me tell you that.
I'm done feeling sorry for you.
I've been done with that a long time ago.
I knew this wasn't going to work from the start.
I know for a fact I've told you many times.
Before any one knew I just had an itch.
Nothing is every permanent.
Nothing.
I'm happy when I'm not here, and when I am here when I'm eating or listening to music or talking on the phone or laughing or even when everything is "okay".
Even though really nothing has been okay, ever.
I know God will make sure everything is okay for us, but that's all I know right now.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hey Blogger,

I've missed you.
__________
"After everything, after holding everything in. I broke. I cracked. I tried to hold back, not to make noise, not to scream, not to cry. Something took over. Someone took over. I don't know what who it was, or what it was, but it surely wasn't me. I would never upset anyone. No one, besides me, of course."

Sometimes everyone makes me frustrated.
Sometimes everyone makes me mad.
Sometimes everyone annoys me.
Really, though,
Sometimes I make me frustrated.
Sometimes I make me mad.
Sometimes I annoy myself.
But most of the time, I'm happy, and I love it.














Saturday, March 21, 2009

Greetings from Gran Gran's,

I got a haircut.
Yay for haircuts!
It feels so good just to restart.
I'm happy, dude pictures up later.

Driving the golf cart like a pro.
Walking into a very tiny christian church.
Swimming in a lake, with good will bathing suits we bought an hour ago, and coming out early because the water was so cold it burnt.
Taking pictures of us in the life guard seat.
Melting chocolate to dip fruit in.
Many more adventures tomorrow.
Taking a nap.
Reading 90 minutes in heaven and being "o wow" or "crazzyyyy".
=)))))))))))))))))))

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Your face is the first face I thought of,

We haven't had a fight in a long, long time.
I don't mean to jinx it, but I think we understand each other now.
I remember we used to fight everyday and say it was because we spent to much time together.
We were wrong.
Now we only butt heads and DGAF about it later,laugh about it.
I love that about us.
I can't wait until Summer.
I think we secretly knew we would be good friends.
Now we just have to figure out what we are doing for the talent show.
When in doubt we always turn to each other.

FAT,

The bass sounded fat.

I just wanted to check in,
Kid Conference was a lot of work;
but it went smoothly and better than my expectations.
Overall I'm happy.
=)
It is hotter than hell right now and all I hope is that it holds through the weekend so we can swim in the lake.
=)
I forgot how good Sunny D was.
Now I'm working up the energy to go get ice cream, do my homework, and then find some water balloons.
=)
I'm just hating that it's Wednesday, because that means I have to lug through Thursday, before my beloved Friday!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I'm craving

Corn Beef and Cabbage. (plus potatoes)
=)
Yum, yum.

MK was awesome.
A little awkward at times but super fun!
I love the magic kingdom.
I love it. I love it. I love it.
California Screamin` was great, again.
The creepy people that thought I was in college weren't so fun.. heh..eh.
Running away from our stalkers twice was pretty cool too.
Grizzly let me down.
='(
Tower let me down.
='(

Kid Conference tomorrow.






Shit.
No one is ready!


People who made me happy today: Linda, Diana, Jess, Rock, Sam, & Garwick
=)

Despite stress, I love life.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Dope,


P.S. I got my best time on the mile today. I was singing Saturday and I was instantly not tired. Every time my foot hit the floor one of many bruises on my chin felt like it was getting punched. Every time. I guess I forgot about it on my second lap or it sped me up.
Yay!
I'm content.
I don't think Kid Conference is going to be that bad.
I think PAL is going to do better than Leadership.
So Ms.Fields is got a pink slip?
That sucks..
Budget cuts suck.
Economy sucks.
Reading counts suck.
Blogger's cut offs suck.
--
MK was fun.
Hurricane Katrina was fun.
California Screamin` is my new favorite ride!!!
I loved it!!!!!
I loved the 5 minute wait too.

"Uhohs"

Friday, March 13, 2009

I'm thinking, DGAF.

This week was the longest week of the school year, so far.
I am not excited for kid conference, at all.
All I know is I'm going to get through it.
That's all I have to tell myself.
It won't be that bad after we finish all the busy work.
I just hope it goes smoothly,
(=(
I've noticed I've been telling myself that a lot lately,
I'll get through it,
because I know I will.
I always will.
--
I don't really worry about my grades anymore, my habits haven't changed, I just don't worry anymore, and that's a good thing.
I know that there are more important things than that shit.
Enough said.

----
You always make fun of people and you're starting to piss me off. I don't find half the things you think are funny, are funny. I'm sorry I still like you and you're really nice but for now you are starting to annoy me. I don't like it. We can't be more opposites, you are nothing like me.
..

So much stress, stop looking at me, I'm not the only one that has a brain.

--------------------


I love weekends / Fridays.


Everyone wish me luck for tomorrow's game.


Have to finish:

by next Friday,






shit.



Currently Loving: Life.
Currently Missing: Disney Land.
Currently Feeling: Excited / Nervous / Happy

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I feel,

so uncomfortable right now.
Not good.
Not cool.
I have a feeling this is going no where anytime soon and that sucks.
It is what it is..

------

I'm a good person right.. right?
I would hope so.

___

I miss you so much!
Sometimes before I go to sleep I think of you, fall asleep, wake up with tears rolling down my face, all I want to do is scream, but I don't, I'm quiet, I stay silent, I roll over, I deal with it, I fall back asleep,and then I wake up,
and you aren't there.
You aren't down the hall.
You aren't across the street.
You aren't waiting for my daily kiss goodbye before I leave for school.
You're just not there.
You are no where.
I'm never going to fully face that.
I'm never going to understand.
I'm never going to forget.
And I'm never going to get over it.
I love you.
I honestly love you.
P.s. when you died you took apart of me with you and maybe, just maybe that's a good thing.


I love you.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train,

Just watch the gossip sermon.
(Sorry for the other stuff the embedding was disabled in every other video)

=)

LQTM




Sunday, March 1, 2009

Here comes the sun,

Dedicated to Rocky Raccoon,
this one's for you bud.

Haven't been this sad in a long time, happy and sad.
Mostly sad.
But at least we got to take a million pictures..
I'll miss you!
I hope you get Charles and write you're book and send me a free copy (hint-hint).
You better write it. Seriously, write it. Serious.
Hopefully you'll have some free time goober.
Who else is supposed to take us to Disney?
I'm sad but I have a feeling everything is going to work out,
I kind of felt like today was your last day to live,
but it's not..
I feel better now.
P.s. don't lose your wristband.
-----

Despite a couple aspects of my life that I can't fix I am loving life.
I have great friends and great morals.
I'm happy to say I love life.
I love life.

nice shirt

Photobucket

nicejacket